“Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve been to Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Iraq, and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put together.” – Kent Brockman
Year: 2018
Quote of the Day
“Hey, everybody! I’m Peter Pantsless!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hi, Dad, how was work?” – Lisa Simpson “Cold.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Bart . . . Bart . . . Hey, Bart . . .” – Lisa Simpson “Lisa, it’s six-am. Something’s wrong? Dad died!” – Bart Simpson “No, no, he’s fine.” – Lisa Simpson “Well, whaddya? I’m relieved.” – Bart Simpson
Makeup Quote of the Day
“How ya doin’ fellas?” – James Taylor “With all due respect, Mr. Taylor, this isn’t the best time for your unique brand of bittersweet folk-rock. We have a potentially critical situation here. I’m sure you’ll understand.” – Buzz Aldrin “Listen, Aldrin, I’m not as laid back as people think. Now, here’s the deal: I’m gonna play, and you’re gonna float there and like it.” – James Taylor
Quote of the Day
“Wait, that was all a dream. Hey, then maybe I haven’t become a hideous drunken wreck . . . oh.” – Mr. Smithers
Quote of the Day
“C’mon, you Gloomy Guses, who’s up for a big bowl of non-fat ice milk?” – Ned Flanders “I want wintergreen!” – Todd Flanders “Unflavored for me.” – Maude Flanders
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Wasted away again in Margaritaville . . . ” – Shary Bobbins “Searching for my lost shaker of salt . . . Oh, here it is.” – Barney Gumble
Double Secret Makeup Quote of the Day
“Got your nose.” – Homer Simpson “Got your wallet!” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“They call her ‘The Cat Lady’. People say she’s crazy just because she has a few dozen cats. But can anyone who loves animals that much really be crazy?” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“My baby translator!” – Herb Powell “Ooooh.” – Marge Simpson “Marge, you don’t have to humor me.” – Herb Powell “Well, it’s pretty ingrained.” – Marge Simpson
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Honey, if you get too competitive, you’ll never be happy. No matter how good you are, there’s always gonna be someone better than you. I always thought I had the tallest hair, but that trip to Graceland really opened my eyes.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“This boy’s appendix is inflamed and about to burst, which will make it easier to find once I get in there.” – Dr. Hibbert
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Am I wrong, or did it just get fatter in here?” – Patty Bouvier
Quote of the Day
“Where’d you get that thing, anyway?” – NASA Director “Sent away.” – NASA Guy
Quote of the Day
“Homer’s in the hospital! They think it’s his heart!” – Marge Simpson “Oh, my God!” – Selma Bouvier “What?” – Patty Bouvier “Five cents off wax paper.” – Selma Bouvier Happy birthday Julie Kavner!
Quote of the Day
“Any valuables in the house?” – Total Disaster Insurance Agent “Well, the Picasso, my collection of classic cars…” – Homer Simpson “Sorry, this policy only covers actual losses, not made up stuff.” – Total Disaster Insurance Agent “Well, that’s just great.” – Homer Simpson
Makeup Quote of the Day
“We’re now approaching our final destination, Itchy & Scratchy Land, the amusement park of the future, where nothing can possib-ply go wrong. Uh, possibly go wrong. . . . That’s the first thing that’s ever gone wrong.” – Unsuspecting Helicopter Pilot
Quote of the Day
“Ninety-eight point six, you’re fine. Now, hurry up or you’ll miss your bus.” – Marge Simpson “Maybe you better take that temperature one more time.” – Bart Simpson “Sarge, we keep getting orders to let the virus win.” – Immune Cell “Must be a school day. Lay down your arms!” – Immune Sargent “Alright! Let’s make some pus.” – Virus
Quote of the Day
“Lousy teachers, trying to palm off our kids on us.” – Homer Simpson “But, Dad, by striking they’re trying to affect a change in management so that they can be happier and more productive.” – Lisa Simpson “Lisa, if you don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way!” – Homer Simpson