“Oh, boy! What’s going on, patio party?” – Kirk van Houten “Nah, possum drowned in the pool. Do you have any garbage bags?” – Jerry “Ahh, just throw it over the fence, let Arby’s worry about it.” – Kirk van Houten
Month: May 2010
3 Hackneyed Teevee Marriages for the Price of 1!
“I felt kinda guilty cause I was always trying to score with his wife.” – Moe I don’t mind exceedingly cliched cell phone shenanigans when they happen in dumb horror movies. We know the characters need to be isolated, and it’s not a big deal. In fact, the chronic failure of cell phones is the kind of thing a mildly comedic show might find some way to satirize. Instead, Zombie Simpsons played it straight, blundering into another pop culture faux pas without even realizing it. But that was only a taste of the horrifyingly unpleasant time to come: Moe…
Idiot to Continue Poisoning Liver with Simpsons Episodes
“Asleep at the switch! I wasn’t asleep, I was drunk!” – Homer Simpson Counting last night’s, there’s been a new Zombie Simpsons for five consecutive weeks. There are two more weeks to go before the season ends. It’s the longest streak of new episodes since I started watching Zombie Simpsons when we began this blog last year, and it’s getting to me. Fortunately, there’s a sure fire pick me up. It’s time for another Simpsons-Beer marathon. Just like last time I’ve put a poll at right. Since I already did Season 5, I’ve replaced it in the poll with Season…
Quote of the Day
“You people make me sick!” – Barry White “Yea!” – Crowd “Were they even listening to me?” – Barry White “I, uh, don’t think so.” – Mayor Quimby Happy Whacking Day everybody!
Sunday Preview: “Moe Letter Blues”
Thanks to SNPP, we have a short preview of tonight’s Zombie Simpsons. There’s an additional “WARNING: FLASHBACK ALERT,” which in Zombie Simpsons parlance means revisionist nonsense and gaping plot holes inserted to advance a mediocre story. Don’t let the brevity throw you for a loop – it’s almost certainly going to be miserable: While Homer, Apu, and Reverend Lovejoy are vacationing together with their children, they receive a letter from Moe… who says he’s planning on running away with one of their wives. Who wants to bet Moe will attempt suicide in a desperate cry for attention? Remember when Moe…
Quote of the Day
“And what better place to premier their creation than on The Tracey Ullman Show? The nation’s showcase for psychiatrist jokes and musical comedy numbers.” – Troy McClure Happy birthday James L. Brooks!
Quote of the Day
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user aldenjewell. “Rabbi, should I buy a Chrysler?” – Orthodox Jew “Could you rephrase that as a . . . as an ethical question?” – Rabbi Krustofski “Um, is it right to buy a Chrysler?” – Orthodox Jew
Reading Digest: Vicarious Popularity Edition
“They’re only using you for your pool, you know.” – Lisa’s Brain “Shutup brain! I got friends now, I don’t need you anymore.” – Lisa Simpson The signal to noise ratio for on-line Simpsons stuff plummeted again this week on account of the music video commercial replacing the usual opening. Yawn. I’m used to it by now, it happens whenever Zombie Simpsons makes another desperate play for relevance. It happened with Marge in Playboy; it happened with the Israel episode; it happened with the 20th anniversary. It’s going to happen again in a couple of weeks when the American Idol…
Quote of the Day
“Fellow classmates, instead of voting for some athletic hero, or a pretty boy, you have elected me, your intellectual superior, as your king. Good for you.” – Artie Ziff “Very well said.” – Principal Dondelinger Happy birthday Mike Reiss!
Quote of the Day
“And I love that painting. Judging by the clothes, I’d say seventeenth century?” – Lisa Simpson “Actually, Lisa, it’s just uncle Eldred.” – Mrs. Parkfield “I get me brain medicines from the National Health.” – Uncle Eldred Let’s hope Uncle Eldred doesn’t forget to vote.
Crazy Noises: To Surveil With Love
“Funky-See Funky-Do will back to lip-sync another one of their hits right after this.” – “Soul Mass Transit System” Host In our continuing mission to bring you only the finest in low class, low brow, and low tech internet Simpsons commentary we’re bringing back our “Crazy Noises” series and applying it to Season 21. Because doing a podcast smacks of effort we’re still using this “chatroom” thing that all the middle schoolers and undercover cops seem to think is so cool. This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “Kesha”, from which, as an editorial decision, we’ve…
Season 13 Announced on DVD
Following up Comic Book Guy on the cover of Season 12, FOX continues to pander to the lowest common denominator with Ralph Wiggum on the cover of Season 13. TVShowsOnDVD has the details (also where I got the image): This morning Fox Home Entertainment informed retailers to expect The Simpsons – The 13th Season on DVD and Blu-ray Disc this August 24th. […] Now, as Fox returns to the seasons they had skipped, they are keeping the duo-format release plan (which we know will raise some questions among fans…unfortunately we don’t have any answers right now, beyond the information we’re…
Quote of the Day
“Can’t we have one meeting that doesn’t end with us digging up a corpse?” – Mayor Quimby
Synergy Salivates on Command
Image from Wikimedia Commons. “And now boys and girls, here he is, the boy that says the words you’ve been longing to hear, like the salivating dogs that you are: Bart Simpson!” – Krusty the Klown No two secondary characters are more associated with stereotypical Zombie Simpsons fandom than Ralph Wiggum and Comic Book Guy. They went from uproarious diversions to main attractions, the one part of any episode the writers can be confident will cause well conditioned people to slap their fins together. Synergy, being the corporate-fanboy id of Zombie Simpsons mentality, wallows in them: We also got to…
Quote of the Day
“Yay! Now do it for Terri.” – Sherri “What, it’s your birthday too?” – Moe “We’re twins.” – Sherri & Terri Happy birthday Russi Taylor!
Last Week: Bad Puns, This Week: Bad Blonde Jokes, Next Week: Knock Knock Jokes
“What’s he gonna do next, a flapping dickey?” – Jay Leno It’s generally not a good sign when the cleverest writing of the week is the bubble-gum pop song that the network made you use for an opening. But sometimes even two montages, a stick-figure story that doesn’t go anywhere, and Flanders making “tsk tsk” noises for no reason aren’t enough to fill your timeslot. When that happens, you can always fall back on blonde jokes and meandering exposition. And when I say meandering, I mean meandering, like Wiggum going on about chairs, Flanders explaining what he’s doing, and Lisa…
Quote of the Day
“Remember the time he ate my goldfish, and you lied to me and said I never had any goldfish? Then why’d I have the bowl, Bart? Why did I have the bowl?” – Milhouse van Houten
Sunday Preview: “To Surveil With Love”
Tonight’s edition of Zombie Simpsons, “To Surveil With Love,” has a silly A-plot involving terrorism, Springfield, and the Queen of England, and an equally ludicrous B-plot wherein Lisa transforms into a brunette. How the two logically fit is beyond me. If it’s anything like last week’s episode, the B-plot will be a flimsy lead-in to the main story, or it could just have nothing to do with anything, for which there’s also plenty of precedent. As ever, thanks to Simpsons Channel for the description. It’s not their fault the episode sounds like it’s going to be complete shit: A bomb…
Quote of the Day
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user alvy. “Bart, how many hours a day do you watch teevee?” – Marge Simpson “Six. Seven if there’s something good on.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
Image taken from Wikipedia. “Marge, I agree with you in theory. In theory communism works . . . in theory.” – Homer Simpson