“I’m gonna rescue a baby seal, and then I’m gonna save an otter.” – Lisa Simpson “Whoa, whoa, whoa, I’m sorry, but all the animals have already been reserved for celebrities.” – Eco-Hippie “There, that’s one hundred four pounds of sandpipers.” – Rainier Wolfcastle Happy birthday Richard Appel!
Month: May 2010
Crazy Noises: The Bob Next Door
“Set sail for the Frying Dutchman!” – Captain McAllister “Aye-aye, captain!” – Homer Simpson In our continuing mission to bring you only the finest in low class, low brow, and low tech internet Simpsons commentary we’re bringing back our “Crazy Noises” series and applying it to Season 21. Because doing a podcast smacks of effort we’re still using this “chatroom” thing that all the middle schoolers and undercover cops seem to think is so cool. This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “camouflaged”). The above quote and image have almost nothing to do with the…
Quote of the Day
“There. I hope the children enjoy my special fruit punch.” – Marge Simpson “We got the recipe from the Fruit Punch Advisory Board.” – Lisa Simpson “Oh gosh, I’m sorry. Our boys don’t eat sugar.” – Maude Flanders “But why would the Advisory Board give us bad advice?” – Marge Simpson “No sugar!” – Maude Flanders
Synergy Develops Stockholm Syndrome
“Ahh, the boy is fine, so far. I taught him to play the spoons.” – Charles “Big” Daddy I think IGN is beginning to yearn for the freedom of summer. This week’s corporate fanboy rant is really a stunner, even by their standards. It’s not just high praise, it’s a justification, a plea that yes, Zombie Simpsons is indeed good. Most of these reviews eagerly lap up whatever Zombie Simpsons left on the rug, but this wants to argue that it’s a good thing to shit on said rug: A lot of the best moments from "The Bob Next Door"…
Wednesday Morning Cartoons
“You know, kids, I’m sure we’d all like to remember actor Dirk Richter for his portrayal of Radioactive Man, and not the sordid details of his final years, so let’s keep the questions tasteful, okay?” – “Close Encounter of the Comic Book Kind” Convention Guy When The Simpsons was still on the air, one of the most remarkable things about it was the sheer joke density of the writing. There were very few lines that weren’t jokes of some kind. Somewhere in the Ortved book, which I don’t have with me at the moment, someone recalls that at a writers’…
Quote of the Day
“Why it’s that delightful TV leprechaun! I’m going to get your lucky charms.” – C. Montgomery Burns “Oh no, my brains.” – Hans Moleman
Quote of the Day
“At first I thought Prohibition was a good thing. People were drinking more and having a lot more fun. But without beer, Prohibition doesn’t work.” – Homer Simpson
Well, At Least They Didn’t Make a “Face”book Joke
“I really wish they wouldn’t scream.” – Itchy & Scratchy Land Technician There’s not much to be said about an episode that spent most of its time expositing its many loopy story conceits. Of course, in between bouts of joke free exposition there were any number of recycled premises, sloppy scene staging, and all of the rest of the usual problems. Four year olds who have to pee very badly can tell a funnier and more coherent story than this. Happily, there’s only one episode left before we’re free for the summer. The numbers are in and though they remain…
Quote of the Day
“Stop laughing you imbecile! Don’t you realize how close you just came to killing yourself?” – Frank Grimes
Sunday Preview: “The Bob Next Door”
While Charlie tends to his liver this morning, I have the pleasure of bringing you another Sunday Preview. Tonight’s Zombie Simpsons seems like a routine Sideshow Bob episode, except that we all know these types of episodes stopped being funny after “Brother From Another Series.” This latest installment is called “The Bob Next Door” and SNPP tells us that Bart is so convinced that the new next-door neighbor is Sideshow Bob that Marge takes Bart to the prison to prove that Bob is still there. Again, nothing remarkably vile. One does have to admire the writers’ gall, however, in wringing…
Quote of the Day
“Here you go, Apu.” – Bart Simpson “Oh, very good. Would you like the deposit defrayed from the cost of a jumbo cherry Squishee?” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “No, not today. I need the dime.” – Bart Simpson “Oh, it is good to see you are learning a trade.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Season 6 Marathon: 26 episodes, 26 beers, 9h:49m:50s
“Hey, give me one of those famous giant beers I heard so much about.” – Homer Simpson “Something wrong, Yank?” – Barkeep “No, it’s pretty big, I guess.” – Homer Simpson Welcome to the second Simpsons/Beer Marathon! The people have spoken and this time around it’s Season 6. Yeah, I know, Season 6 has only 25 episodes, but it ends with “Who Shot Mr. Burns?” and it’s impossible to watch one without wanting to watch the other. Besides, I like beer. Click here for an explanation of what this post is and how it works. Otherwise, let’s get started.…
Quote of the Day
“Rubber Baby Buggy Bumper Babysitting Service.” – Receptionist “This is Marge Simpson, I’d like a babysitter for the evening.” – Marge Simpson “Wait a minute, ‘the Simpsons’? Lady, you’ve got to be kidding!” – Receptionist Happy (slightly belated) 20th Anniversary to “Some Enchanted Evening”! (Original airdate: 13 May 1990) (Ach, I’m bad at these. I don’t think I got even half of them on their actual anniversaries. Note to self: must do better come fall.)
Reading Digest: Powers of 10 Edition
“Just think what we can buy with that money: history books that know how the Korean War came out, math books that don’t have that base six crap in them, and a state of the art detention hall where children are held in place with magnets.” – Principal Skinner For whatever reason there were a lot of lists of ten this week, which gives me the perfect excuse to link to the classic “Powers of 10” science video. We’ve also got lots of excellent usage, a giant donut I assume was a movie tie in, a technical discussion that cites…
Quote of the Day
“There’s no way I’ll get into an Ivy League school now. At this rate, I probably won’t even get into Vassar.” – Lisa Simpson “I’ve had just about enough of your Vassar bashing, young lady.” – Homer Simpson
Will There Be a Season 23?
“We’re through the looking glass here people.” – Milhouse van Houten A little more than a year ago, news broke that Zombie Simpsons had been renewed for two more years, through Season 22. It wasn’t news that there was going to be a Season 21. The old contract may have only run through Season 20 but, given the lag between production and broadcast, if Season 20 was going to be the end they’d have shut down production long before last year. Plus, sites like http://www.epgudies.com already had listings for Season 21. What made the renewal news so unfortunate was that…
Quote of the Day
“Miss? Miss? Do you have a Chanel suit or any other high-quality clothes?” – Marge Simpson “No ma’am, but we do have a shipment of slightly burned Sears Activewear coming in this afternoon.” – Sales Clerk “Oh, I give up.” – Marge Simpson “What time and how burnt?” – Cletus Spuckler
Crazy Noises: Moe Letter Blues
“Well, a fifty-nine, it’s a high F.” – Mrs. Krabappel In our continuing mission to bring you only the finest in low class, low brow, and low tech internet Simpsons commentary we’re bringing back our “Crazy Noises” series and applying it to Season 21. Because doing a podcast smacks of effort we’re still using this “chatroom” thing that all the middle schoolers and undercover cops seem to think is so cool. This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “non sequitur”). A few weeks ago, I wrote that while “Postcards from the Wedge” was terrible, it was…
Quote of the Day
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user yoppy. “Oh, Homer, no man has ever been this nice to me without, you know, wanting something in return.” – Lurleen Lumpkin “Well, I was going to ask you for a glass of water but now I feel kinda guilty about it.” – Homer Simpson
Synergy Has a Small Suggestion
“There’s some candy right here, sir. Why don’t we eat this instead of stealing?” – Mr. Smithers IGN is finishing the season strong. Not only does this week’s agitprop praise transparently hackneyed story shortcuts (see: Moe’s interactions with the Lovejoys and the Nahasapeemapetilons), but goes so far as to offer a suggestion about how it could’ve been even better! IGN couldn’t ignore the stupidity of using an elopement with Moe as the plot fulcrum, but rather than ignore the awful fake tension it put on the rest of the episode, they offered up a little change and called it a…