“Abracadabra, the crystal says your baby shall be a girl!” – Repo Depot Guy
Month: February 2017
Quote of the Day
“I’m sorry, did you just call me a liar?” – Principal Skinner “No, I said you were fired.” – Superintendent Chalmers “Oh. That’s much worse.” – Seymour Skinner
Quote of the Day
“Since you’re trying to make a getaway in park, I’m guessing you don’t have a license.” – Chief Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“Uh, hello. You have a help wanted sign on the window.” – Mr. Smithers “Yeah, I need someone to help me with the midnight beer delivery. Your job is to distract Barney until it’s safely off the truck.” – Moe “I’ll just wait out back until then.” – Mr. Smithers “I look forward to working with you!” – Barney Gumble
Quote of the Day
“Inanimate, huh? I’ll show him inanimate!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“When that pie hit your face, I saw my dreams explode in a burst of cream and crust. But I suppose I should thank you. After all, it led me to my true calling.” – Cecil Terwilliger “Cecil, no civilization in history has ever considered Chief Hydrological Engineer a ‘calling’. . . . Yes, yes, the Cappadocians. Fine.” – Bob Terwilliger Happy 20th Anniversary to “Brother From Another Series”! Original airdate, 23 February 1997.
Quote of the Day
“Congratulations, Ned, you are our new town crier.” – Mayor Quimby “D’oh!” – Homer Simpson “May your shrill, nasal voice ring throughout our streets and brains.” – Mayor Quimby
Behind Us Forever: The Cad and the Hat
“Hey, that little boy is playing three games at once.” – Chess Bystander “Checkmate.” – Opponent #1 “Checkmate.” – Opponent #2 “Checkmate.” – Opponent #3 “Dang.” – Bart Simpson I try to forget these episodes as quickly as possible. (Given how bland and repetitive they are, this isn’t usually very difficult.) But just one week after I accused Zombie Simpsons of having Exposition Tourette’s, they put on an expository masterpiece, even by their wretched standards. It starts with Bart getting a temporary tattoo that says “Bad to the Bone”. He informs us of it, then repeats the phrase several times…
Quote of the Day
“A millionaire!? Oh, I kept the wrong one. Look, son, I’ll come as soon as I can get out of here. In the meantime, please don’t do anything stupid.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Quote of the Day
“What are you going to do with your million dollars, sir?” – Mr. Smithers “Oh, I don’t know. Throw it on the pile, I suppose.” – C.M. Burns
Sunday Preview: The Cad and the Hat
When Bart betrays Lisa, he has to deal with his guilt – literally. Meanwhile, Springfield is in awe when Homer is revealed to be a chess savant. Sure, why not. Homer didn’t pass remedial science in high school, but he can play chess. Paton Oswald has decided to put his fingerprints on this murder scene, so hopefully that works out for him. Also apparently he is voicing Bart’s manifestation of guilt, which means we are probs going to hear a lot of guilty horn music. Well, you will, I am not watching.
Quote of the Day
“Oh, no, it’s coming back this way!” – Australian Judge “That throwing stick stunt of yours has boomeranged on us!” – Australian Cop
Quote of the Day
“My name is Hans. Drinking has ruined my life. I’m thirty-one years old!” – Hans Moleman
Quote of the Day
“That’s it! I’m calling the company.” – Lisa Simpson “Hello, you have reached the Malibu Stacy customer service center. If you have a complaint about Malibu Stacy’s appearance or odor, press one. If you’ve given Malibu Stacy a haircut and need to order a replacement head, press two.” – Malibu Stacy Customer Service Recording
Quote of the Day
“You know me, Marge. I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming!” – Homer Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “Homer’s Phobia”! Original airdate 16 February, 1997.
Quote of the Day
“But I want to play in the mud and be a hippy!” – Homer Simpson “Never! What you need’s a good, long hitch in Vietnam. There must be an enlistment tent around here somewhere.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Miss Hoover, can we exchange our valentines?” – Janey “Not just yet, Janey. First, we’re going to construct paper mailboxes to store the valentines.” – Miss Hoover “Isn’t that just pointless busy work?” – Lisa Simpon “Bullseye. Get cracking.” – Miss Hoover
Behind Us Forever: Fatzcarraldo
“And I’ll be able to tackle all the hard hitting children’s news the grown-up controlled media won’t touch. Plus I get to be on TV!” – Lisa Simpson Zombie Simpsons long ago stopped astonishing me with how bad it can be, but every once and a while I can’t help but marvel at just how far the writing has devolved. These episodes mostly adhere to the loosest of structures: an A-plot, a supplemental B-plot, both wrapping up near the end. But the incredibly low bar they have for what counts as a story (or as a resolution) is remarkable when you…
Quote of the Day
“Hey, Milhouse, knock him down if he’s in your way! Jimbo, Jimbo, go for the face! Look! Ralph Wiggum lost his shin guard! Hack the bone! Hack the bone!” – Lisa Simpson “Wow, eye of tiger, mouth of a teamster! To think of all the time I wasted on you!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Homer, I’ve a proposition for ye. Fair and true.” – Captain McAllister “C’mon, Marge, let the people see your pretty face.” – Homer Simpson “Come see Bottomless Pete, Nature’s cruelest mistake! Come for the freak! Stay for the food!” – Captain McAllister “Oh, he’s hideous!” – Female Crowd Member “I heard they shaved a gorilla.” – Male Crowd Member