This is awesome enough to stand on its own. Presented without further comment:
Year: 2009
Cleveland Show Strikes Back
The numbers are in and last night’s Zombie Simpsons snorefest was watched by a mere 7.11 million people. That’s the second lowest number all year and brings the Season 21 average down to a mere 8.23 million viewers. Adding insult to injury, an all new Cleveland Show came in at 7.68 million, which narrows Zombie Simpsons’ lead in their utterly meaningless contest to 5-3. This was also the last new Zombie Simpsons before the big 20th anniversary show in January, that one will have massive promotional hype, Spurlock’s special, and the release of the Season 20 DVDs to promote it. …
Quote of the Day
“I’ve been playing jazz for thirty years and I just can’t make a go of it. I want you to have my saxophone.” – “Blind” Willie Witherspoon “This isn’t a saxophone, it’s an umbrella.” – “Bleeding Gums” Murphy “So I’ve been playing an umbrella for thirty years? Why didn’t anybody tell me?” – “Blind” Willie Witherspoon “We all thought it was funny.” – “Bleeding Gums” Murphy “That’s not funny.” – “Blind” Willie Witherspoon
That’s Okay Lisa, We Can’t Believe This Is Still Happening Either
“Bart has been guilty of the following atrocities: synthesizing a laxative from peas and carrots, replacing my birth control pills with tic tacs.” – Mrs. Krabappel Well, that was unpleasant. A few weeks ago Bart was way out of character worrying about his future. This time he’s way out of character worrying about not having a brother. As per usual the nonsensical storyline wasn’t nearly meaty enough to fill the allotted time so there was plenty of clock killing montages (including a star studded dream sequence that was as humorless as it was unbelievably long). What jokes there were tended…
Sunday Preview: “O Brother, Where Bart Thou?”
For some reason, the Manning brothers are featured in the promo pic for tonight’s episode of Zombie Simpsons, which is awkwardly titled “O Brother, Where Bart Thou?” See, there’s Peyton, Cooper, and Eli. And they’re playing catch. With a football. If you really care, here’s a synopsis… but I think you’ll find Fake Peyton Manning’s posts on the much-loved but abandoned Newsgroper funnier. When Homer denies Bart’s request for a baby brother, Bart makes his way to the Springfield Orphanage to find what he thinks he’s missing. At least this is the last episode of 2009, so that’s something to…
Quote of the Day
Image from Wikipedia. “Hi. You from the casino?” – Robert Goulet “I’m from a casino.” – Bart Simpson “Good enough, let’s go.” – Robert Goulet
Saturday Morning Cartoons: Fuck Seinfeld
I was never a big fan of Seinfeld. Like Cheers before and Friends after, it was a popular but ultimately dull sitcom. It was no more a revolutionary show than Law & Order is/was. Both may be the best expressions of their respective shitty genres, but that doesn’t change the fact that the kind of television they represent is inherently shitty. These days whenever someone says “yada yada yada” the first thing that springs to most people’s minds is Seinfeld. The reason for that is that Seinfeld – at the height of its popularity – based an entire episode (titled…
Duff Beer Mystery Solved
“Outsiders have kidnapped some of our property. We must respond with our deadliest weapon.” – Male Movementarian “The lawyers.” – Female Movementarian Those mysterious bottles of Duff beer that have been showing up in Europe have been traced to an entrepreneur in Mexico: That is exactly what Rodrigo Contreras, the real-life producer of Duff Beer, wanted to hear. A marketing man, Mr Contreras has always had an eye for a gimmick. The $140,000 (€93,000, £84,000) investment to establish Duff, his company, came from the proceeds of a book he wrote about Vicente Fox, a former president of Mexico, who is…
Quote of the Day
“Homer, is that an old Halloween costume?” – Marge Simpson “Uh… no.” – Homer Simpson
Real Life Simpsons Intro from Estonia
“That midget taught me a lot about his native Estonia.” – Lisa Simpson What is it with the former Soviet republics this week? Hot on the heels of the “Samsonadzes” comes this kickass live action Simpsons opening from Estonian TV3 (via Coilhouse): I am speechless at the power of its awesomeness and I don’t even get most of the jokes. The general tenor of vague medievalism really makes it work. I’m not even sure what my favorite part is, the candles in band practice? The way Estonian Homer is working with an actual glowing rod? That he almost gets hit…
Reading Digest: Lots of Excellent Usage Edition
“I’m sorry Mrs. Simpson but you can’t copyright a drink.” – Lionel Hutz “Ohhh.” – Homer Simpson “This all goes back to the Frank Wallbanger case of ‘78. How bout that? I looked something up! These books behind me don’t just make the office look good, they’re filled with useful legal tidbits just like that!” – Lionel Hutz Wallbanger image via Wikipedia. What can I say? There’s no bigger chunk of this week’s edition than repeated excellent usage (with dead on citation). There’s also a couple of crappy lists, a lamp that will never be, some printable Simpsons coloring…
Quote of the Day
“What’s the matter Homer? The depressing effects of alcohol usually don’t kick in ’til closing time.” – Moe Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user quinn.anya.
Spurlock & Ortved Updates
For his Simpsons special Morgan Spurlock has been getting various different musical acts to cover the Simpsons theme. Now we can add Andrew WK and People Under the Stairs to that list. Then there’s this radio interview with John Ortved. The whole interview is a little less than twenty minutes, but there are two parts I wanted to highlight. The first is at 10:25 when Ortved discusses how the show actually got on the air. All of this information is in the book, obviously, but it’s much more condensed here and it’ll give you a good idea of just how…
Quote of the Day
“Thank you God.” – Cowboy Bob
Worker and Parasite! (Seriously)
The Simpsons are popular the world over. Now they’re getting localized in Georgia (the country, not the American state): Georgian animators are hoping a local television makeover of The Simpsons will mimic the American animated series’ two decades of success. But the show, The Samsonadzes, walks a thin line between originality and flat-out imitation of the world’s best-known cartoon family. […] Launched six weeks ago on Imedi TV, The Samsonadzes feature the bulging eyes, mustard-toned skin, four-fingered hands and character movements reminiscent of their American counterparts. The series’ opening shot — a camera zooming down through the clouds into a…
You Kids and Your Teevee Programs
“Wait, where’s the hyperspace?” – Abe “Grandpa” Simpson As Dave noted last weekend, the Burns for Mayor campaign was a smashing success in that, had only write-in ballots been counted, Charles Montgomery Burns would’ve won the New York City mayoral election in a landslide. The publication of the write-in totals has lead some normally staid political sites to take notice. This one, ballot-access.org, which advocates for easier minor party representation on ballots, wrote it up as follows: The results show that the person who got the most write-ins for Mayor is Charles Montgomery Burns, the fictional character in the Homer…
Quote of the Day
“Did you hear that Ari? My boys need only to thump your tub and the title is ours.” – C.M. Burns “Ha! The gladiators from my power plant will crush your team like nine flabby grapes.” – Aristotle Amadopolis “I disagree.” – C.M. Burns “Would you care to bet a million dollars on that?” – Aristotle Amadopolis “Oh, if we’re going to bet why don’t we make it interesting?” – C.M. Burns “What, a million dollars isn’t interesting to you?” – Aristotle Amadopolis “Oh did you say a million? I’m uh, I’m sorry my mind was elsewhere. I thought you…
“A Tale of Two Springfields” Makes Baby Jesus Cry
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user kubacheck. “So what’s it like being famous, Dad?” – Bart Simpson “People know your name, but you don’t know theirs. It’s great.” – Homer Simpson I have not watched most of these Season 12 episodes since they originally blighted my television set. I didn’t forget how bad they were overall, but I did forget in just how many ways they’re specifically bad. The opening of this episode takes two whole minutes just to get Homer to make a phone call. They do so with a badger that’s hiding in the doghouse.…
Quote of the Day
“That was Johnny Calhoun with ‘Gonna Find Me a Genie with a Magic Bikini’.” – Marty “Of course Johnny’s next record was a spoken word album of his right wing political views, it kinda killed his career. If you can tell me the name of that album, call out contest line now.” – Bill
Weird Batch of eBay Simpsons Stuff
Oh eBay, you make it so easy for people to sell the most entertainingly oddball stuff. First up we have this wind up Maggie novelty item that, according to the seller, “WORKS STILL”: Next on the block is this rather frightening looking “walking” Homer robot: That thing looks like a cross between Homer and that stupid robot FOX has on during football. The combination of the distorted, semi-muscled torso with the blank stare and strange grin on the head is really unnerving. Finally, how about some novelty Euro notes with Simpsons characters on them? There’s a 20 Euro note…