“You know the rules, awards for excellence in entertainment are contraband, no Emmys, no Oscars, not even a Golden Globe.” – Prison Guard One of the more revealing ineptitudes of “Angry Dad: The Movie” is the way it fails to copy not one, but two different Simpsons episodes that did the exact same thing it did. (This is particularly stunning coming from a show that loves repeating jokes and unabashedly lives off of fan nostalgia.) Of course, both of those older episodes did things much quicker, and managed to actually mock the kidding-but-serious way awards shows take themselves and their…
Month: February 2011
Quote of the Day
“In preparing for this debate I did a little research, and I discovered a startling thing. There was violence in the past, long before cartoons were invented.” – Roger Meyers Jr. “I see, fascinating.” – Kent Brockman “And there was something called The Crusades, for instance, tremendous violence, many people killed, the darn thing went on for thirty years!” – Roger Meyers Jr. “And this was before cartoons were invented?” – Kent Brockman Happy birthday Alex Rocco! (Well, technically it’s not until Leap Day 2012, but I’m sure he’s learned to make do.)
Quote of the Day
“Ned Flanders actually eliminated detention and put the whole school on the honor system?” – Seymour Skinner “Yeah, and the teachers are afraid to leave the faculty lounge!” – Bart Simpson Happy birthday Bill Oakley!
Saturday Morning Cartoons
“Well, that was a waste of time.” – Janey “Janey, school is never a waste of time.” – Lisa Simpson “Since we have fifteen minutes until recess, please put down your pencils and stare at the front of the room.” – Ms. Hoover Doctoral theses could be written about this episode, but let me just add this. The following things are mocked in this brief, twenty-two minutes of television: Elementary education Standardized testing Post grad education Law enforcement The army Hope Sexual bondage Cop shows Action movies Oedipal complexes The space program The Wild One (1953) Handwriting analysis Hippies Law…
Quote of the Day
“Cover me sarge, I’m going after Bart’s soul! . . . If the ayatollah can’t have it, no one can!” – Milhouse van Houten
Reading Digest: Spectacular Links Edition
“I feel like a kid in some kind of a store.” – Homer Simpson Some weeks the internet just gives and gives; like this week, where we have an embarrassment of really cool stuff. I had several contenders for Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week, and ultimately I couldn’t decide on one, but the first four links are all worth your time, though only the Rolling Stone thing will actually take more than a few seconds of it. In addition to that, we’ve got some great YouTube, the usual assortment of excellent usage, three links from our pal Galileo, and,…
Quote of the Day
Image shamelessly yoinked from Well Preserved. “Poor Mister Homer, could it be that my snack treats are responsible for his wretched health?” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “Gimme some jerky.” – Customer “Would you like some vodka with that?” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “Oh what the hell, sure.” – Customer
Crazy Noises: Angry Dad: The Movie
“Yes, Mr. Sherman, everything stinks.” – Calmwood Mental Hospital Doctor In our ongoing mission to bring you only the shallowest and laziest analysis of Zombie Simpsons, we’re keeping up our Crazy Noises series for Season 22. Since a podcast is so 2004, and video would require a flag, a fern and some folding chairs from the garage, we’ve elected to use the technology that brought the word “emoticon” to the masses: the chatroom. Star Trek image macros are strictly forbidden, unless you have a really good reason why Captain Picard is better than Captain Kirk. This text has been edited…
Quote of the Day
“Bart, if life has taught me one lesson repeatedly, it’s to know when I’m beaten.” – Principal Skinner
Twitter Has No Use for Zombie Simpsons
Somehow word got around Twitter yesterday that it was Bart’s birthday. Since we only follow like ten people and only half of them ever tweet anything I have no idea how this happened. However, Daily Simpsons got in on the trend and asked their teeming horde of over nine thousand followers to tweet their favorite Bart quotes. The results are below in picture form (remember, it’s Twitter so the newest messages are at the top): There are two quotes on there from Season 11, and nothing past that. Not one. Now, this isn’t exactly scientific, but it is overwhelming. Twitter,…
Quote of the Day
“Excuse me, sir, I think there’s been a mistake.” – Marge Simpson “Oh no, no mistake. Your electricity’s in the name of Homer J. Simpson, deceased. The juice stays off ’til you get a job or a generator . . . oh and, uh, my deepest sympathies.” – Sympathetic Utility Guy
Quote of the Day
“Homey, you know it’s funny, both my mother and your father seem pretty lonely.” – Marge Simpson “Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, that is funny.” – Homer Simpson
Knowing Your Audience
“Thank god we’re back in Hollywood, where people treat each other right.” – Movie Guy No sooner do I make fun of Zombie Simpsons for its relentless Hollywood navel gazing than they spend an entire episode navel gazing in Hollywood. Starting with that interminable Itchy & Scratchy thing and running through awards ceremony cliches and a stunning number of glacially slow short films, this thing was one long exercise in entertainment industry self congratulations. (I’m sure these sorts of things will get people at L.A. area cocktail parties to praise them, but for the rest of us it’s a little…
Quote of the Day
“His life was an unbridled success, until he found out he was a Simpson.” – Lisa Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?”! Original airdate 21 February 1991.
All Glory Is Fleeting
Image used under Creative Commons License from Flickr user cliff1066™. “Arggh, my groin!” – George C. Scott There’s new Zombie Simpsons in about an hour. It’s gonna be bad: Bart’s cartoon about an angry dad is turned into Angry Dad: The Movie and quickly becomes a critics’ favorite. When Russell Brand (guest-voicing as himself) presents the Golden Globe to Bart’s film, Homer usurps the podium and gives his own acceptance speech. The film’s winning streak continues with Homer taking credit at each ceremony, so when Angry Dad receives an Oscar nomination, Bart keeps it a secret. With the help of…
Quote of the Day
“Now, there are many options available for dangerously underweight individuals like yourself. I recommend a slow, steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology.” – Dr. Nick Riviera
Quote of the Day
Image used under Creative Commons license from the awesomely named ilovebutter. “Mrs. Simpson, isn’t it true your husband once consumed a ten pound bag of flour when no other food was available?” – Lawyer “Yes, but it was-” – Marge Simpson “Your witness!” – Lawyer
Reading Digest: Robot Apocalypse Edition
“Die bad robots, die!” – Homer Simpson The internet had a minor conniption this week because a computer beat the living snot out of a couple of meatbags at Jeopardy!. One of the meatbags made a Simpsons joke during the final round, and so we have two links about it. The first is highbrow and long, the second is the opposite of those two things, but does have a picture. There’s also lots of links to other meatbag endeavors, like writing about television shows, creating animated .gif files, and bitching about the commercialization of Bacon Day. Attention Scottish readers: Harry…
Quote of the Day
“Marge, don’t discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals . . . except the weasel.” – Homer Simpson
Crazy Noises: The Blue and the Gray
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user Sarah_Ackerman. “Well, I guess it’s back to good old Springfield.” – Bart Simpson “But I can’t go back, not after I’ve seen the bright lights of Capital City. I’ll wither and die like a hothouse flower!” – Lisa Simpson In our ongoing mission to bring you only the shallowest and laziest analysis of Zombie Simpsons, we’re keeping up our Crazy Noises series for Season 22. Since a podcast is so 2004, and video would require a flag, a fern and some folding chairs from the garage, we’ve elected to use the…