“I’ve got to find a replacement who won’t outshine me. Perhaps if I search the employee evaluations for the word ‘incompetent’ . . . 714 names? Better be more specific: ‘lazy’, ‘clumsy’, ‘dimwitted’, ‘monstrously ugly’ . . . aw nuts to this, I’ll just go get Homer Simpson.” – Mr. Smithers
Month: July 2011
Let Us Publicize (and Exploit) Your Uncompensated Labor
“Volunteering is for suckers. Do you know that so called ‘volunteers’ don’t even get paid?” – Homer Simpson In the Spring of 2010, right after Season 21 finished up, I put out a call for guest posts. We got a couple of submissions, including the excellent “A. Gorilla”, but there wasn’t much. This spring, after Season 22, I made the same request, and the response has been terrific in both quality and quantity. So far we’ve had: A Simpsons Confession A Lisa-centric Marathon Ten Scary Simpsons Moments Growing Up with The Simpsons These have been fantastic, up and down the…
Quote of the Day
“You do know I used to have a . . . problem with trying to kill people?” – Sideshow Bob “Goodness, I had no idea! For you see, I have been on Mars for the last decade, in a cave with my eyes shut and my fingers in my ears.” – Cecil “Touche, Cecil.” – Sideshow Bob
A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love Makes Baby Jesus Cry
“That woman, she’s so captivating! Smithers, my heart’s pounding like a jackhammer.” – C.M. Burns I occasionally see people make the argument that the show recovered somewhat once Al Jean took over as show runner from Mike Scully, but I’ve never agreed with that. This episode was one of the very last of the Scully era, and it’s wall-to-wall with things that have become tropes during Al Jean’s now decade long run with Zombie Simpsons. You have the totally unrelated Act 1, the complete wussification of Burns, Homer getting hurt worse than Daffy Duck ever did, and characters inexplicably appearing…
Quote of the Day
“I did it! Second in line and all I had to do was miss eight days of work.” – Homer Simpson “With the money you would’ve made working you could’ve bought tickets from a scalper.” – Guy “In theory, yes . . . jerk.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Good thing you turned on that TV Lisa.” – Homer Simpson “I didn’t turn it on, I thought you turned it on.” – Lisa Simpson “No. Well, anyway, turn it off.” – Homer Simpson “It is off.” – Lisa Simpson
Saturday afternoon Cartoons
“Wait a second, is that a bong? . . . You have asthma? . . . Alright, move along.” – Principal Dondelinger The care that The Simpsons put into every episode remains impressive all these years later. Take Principal Dondelinger, a bit part created to act as the unwitting matchmaker for Homer and Marge back at Springfield High School in the 1970s. Early in the episode, he catches Homer and Barney smoking regular cigarettes in the bathroom. In response, he gives them detention and calls them “Springfield’s answer to Cheech and Chong”. Later in the episode, he confronts a nameless…
Quote of the Day
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user pdstahl. “Who knew that Lay’s made liquid potato chips? I can’t suck just one.” – Homer Simpson
Reading Digest: Unusual Fan Art Edition
“You mean this hunk of junk? This isn’t art, it’s just a barbeque that pushed me over the edge.” – Homer Simpson We’ve got lots of fan made stuff this week, including two links to things drawn by kids, one copy of the family drawn into the banks of the Thames, a graffiti Lisa, and even a Bart made out of an extension cord. Plus there’s a wearable coat that plays whole episodes. On a sadder note, there was a piece of art involving Homer that got stolen. In addition to all that, there are a couple of excellent references,…
Quote of the Day
“Well, you were unlucky. But there are a lot of good men out there.” – Marge Simpson “Hey, can I throw up in your bathroom? I’ll buy something.” – Barney Gumble
Growing Up with The Simpsons
– By Gabe Kagan All evidence from the past points to my father being a big fan of The Simpsons. He watched the episodes, he had many of them on VHS, and his collection of Simpsons comics is comprehensive and remains mainly in mint condition with many of the more obscure series from the early ’90s. So it’s basically to be expected that this fandom would rub off on me. One problem, though: I was born in 1992. So while everyone at DHS was reveling in the early, golden seasons of the show, I was a small child learning the…
Quote of the Day
“You see, Birch, I’m presently incarcerated. Convicted of a crime I didn’t even commit! Attempted murder, now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?” – Sideshow Bob
Crazy Noises: Sunday, Cruddy Sunday
“Any final thoughts?” – Pat Summerall “Nah, I’m too mad. Let’s get the heck out of here.” – John Madden For the third summer in a row, we at the Dead Homer Society are looking to satisfy your off-season longing for substandard commentary on substandard Simpsons. This summer we’ll be looking at Season 10. Why Season 10? Because we’ve already done Seasons 8 and 9 and we can’t put it off any longer. Prior to Season 10, we watched as the show started falling over, this is when it fell over. And while the dust wouldn’t settle completely for another…
Quote of the Day
“I find the defendant not guilty. As for science versus religion, I’m issuing a restraining order. Religion must stay five hundred yards from science at all times.” – Judge Snyder Happy birthday David S/X Cohen!
Crazy Noises: Wild Barts Can’t Be Broken
“Like my mother always said, you’ve got to stick it out, even if you picked a loser . . . to the bitter end.” – Marge Simpson For the third summer in a row, we at the Dead Homer Society are looking to satisfy your off-season longing for substandard commentary on substandard Simpsons. This summer we’ll be looking at Season 10. Why Season 10? Because we’ve already done Seasons 8 and 9 and we can’t put it off any longer. Prior to Season 10, we watched as the show started falling over, this is when it fell over. And while…
Colbert Does “McBain: Let’s Get Silly”
In yet another example of life imitating The Simpsons, the German ambassador to the United Nations went on The Colbert Report last night and told a toilet seat joke so Teutonic it could’ve come from the well ordered Prussian mind of Rainier Wolfcastle himself. (Note: I tried to embed the video, but WordPress and Comedy Central don’t appear to get along.)
Quote of the Day
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user GoodNCrazy. “Stop that. I love my wife and family. All I’m gonna use this bed for is sleeping, eating, and maybe building a little fort. That’s it!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Chief Wiggum, Archbishop McGee, distinguished guests, I am pleased to dedicate this emergency warning system. In the off chance of a nuclear disaster, this sign will tell you, the good citizens of Springfield, what to do.” – Mayor Quimby “Joke’s on them. If the core explodes, there won’t be any power to light that sign!” – Homer Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “Blood Feud”! Original airdate 11 July 1991.
Quote of the Day
“Who should appear but the unrequited love of my college years, Mimsy Bancroft. Of course, by then Mimsy had her share of wrinkles and a gray hair or two, but my adoring eyes saw past those minor imperfections . . . to her twenty-one year old daughter Lily.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
Image yoinked from Wikipedia. “Mr. Simpson, I represent the estate of Jimmy Durante. I have a court order demanding an immediate halt to this unauthorized imitation. Boys.” – Lawyer “Well, would it be alright with you if I just laid down in the street and died?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Yes, that would be acceptable.” – Lawyer