“Hey! Hey! Get down from that bookshelf, please. Most of those books haven’t been discredited yet.” – Dr. Foster
Month: May 2014
Reading Digest: Call for Guest Posts Edition
Between the holiday, the end of the television season, and the fact that it’s now basically summertime, the Simpsons had a pretty sparse week on-line. All those things also mean that it’s time for my annual solicitation for guest posts. If you’ve got something you’d like to say about the show, send it in. We accept rants, cranky letters to the editor that end with “I am not a nut”, well thought out analyses, and just about anything else. Pictures and images are welcome, and we’ll be happy to link back to your Twitter account, blog, or what have you.…
Quote of the Day
“I want you to clear out all the weeds. You do know which ones are weeds?” – Mrs. Glick “All of ’em?” – Bart Simpson “Good boy.” – Mrs. Glick
Quote of the Day
“The mirror . . . the mirror!” – Lisa Simpson Happy birthday Danny Elfman!
Quote of the Day
“I think the boy’s hurt.” – Mr. Smithers “Oh, for crying out loud! Just give him a nickel and let’s get going.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“I think he’s taking the next train to Capital City.” – Apartment Woman “The train, how like him: traditional yet environmentally sound.” – Lisa Simpson “Yes, and it’s been the backbone of our country since Leland Stanford drove that golden spike at Promontory Point!” – Apartment Woman “I see he touched you too.” – Lisa Simpson Happy birthday Jo Ann Harris!
Quote of the Day
“Hello, Homie, how’s my big, important executive?” – Marge Simpson “Oh, Marge, every woman I interview for the secretary job makes kissy faces at me.” – Homer Simpson “Hmmm.” – Marge Simpson “Hello, Mr. Simpson, I’m Karl.” – Karl “He sounds good. Hire him.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Now, this is a trust exercise. You fall backwards and rely on your spouse to catch you.” – Helen Lovejoy “Do I have to do this?” – Marge Simpson “No. Even if your husband were here I wouldn’t recommend it.” – Reverend Lovejoy
Quote of the Day
“You know, kids, my teachers said I would never amount to anything, and until last week they were dead right.” – Homer Simpson
Reading Digest: Lots of Clothing Edition
“I need a formal dress for tonight!” – Marge Simpson “You’ve come to the right place.” – Patty Bouvier “We’ve got classy duds up the yinyang. . . . I call this one, ‘Fantasy in Maroon’.” – Selma Bouvier “It’s got some cigarette burns, but we can patch ’em up with new vinyl.” – Patty Bouvier “It’s a bit peppery for me. Why don’t we put this in the maybe pile?” – Marge Simpson Season 25 rolled unmourned into the past this week with hardly a peep from the internet. I was sort of hoping for a few more stories about…
Quote of the Day
“What’s wrong, sir? Did I get some in your eyes? The shampoo specifically said ‘No More Tears’.” – Mr. Smithers “Ah, a lovely promise, but one beyond the powers of a mere shampoo.” – C.M. Burns
Compare & Contrast: Homer and 4th of July Fireworks Disasters
“This baby’s sure to kill something!” – Homer Simpson There is little doubt that a man who famously likes his beer cold, his teevee loud, and his homosexuals flaming, is a big fan of the thundering light show that is Fourth of July fireworks. Of course, Homer is also the exact opposite person who should ever actually be involved with them. He is thoughtless, careless and impulsive, and those are not traits that mix well with gunpowder. In “The Yellow Badge of Cowardage”, Zombie Simpsons played with that combustible mixture and blew itself up. In “Summer of 4 Ft. 2”, The…
Quote of the Day
“There’s cheese in this sandwich! Surely you know I’m lactose intolerant?” – Sideshow Mel “Sorry.” – Bart Simpson “Sorry? Do you know how sick this is going to make me? Oh, boy . . . come stand next to the bathroom door, I want to yell at you some more.” – Sideshow Mel
Last Night, On Twitter . . .
“I can’t remember the last time we were all together.” – Principal Skinner “Last year, on that stupid Dame Edna special.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon Al Jean continues to ever so gingerly dip his toes into the never ending torrent of love, hate and general bullshit that is Twitter. Last night, he tweeted out this undated picture of some of the old staff: I wasn’t sure who everybody was, so I asked him, and he was kind enough to reply. From left to right it’s him, Mike Reiss, Wallace Wolodarsky, Jay Kogen, Jon Vitti, and Jeff Martin. He also said this:…
Quote of the Day
“All in favor of demolishing our beloved burlesque house, raise your hands.” – Mayor Quimby “Are they talking about the bordello?” – Jasper “No! The burlesque house, so just keep your mouth shut.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson Happy birthday Richard Appel!
Quote of the Day
“Hey, Estelle, will you go to the prom with me?” – Barney Gumble “I wouldn’t go to the prom with you if you were Elliot Gould!” – Estelle “Oh, shot down again.” – Barney Gumble “Hey, don’t worry, Barney, it’s a big school. There’s got to be a girl nobody else wants to take to the prom.” – Homer Simpson
Behind Us Forever: The Yellow Badge of Cowardge
“Gratzi, gratzi, you have brought great joy to this old Italian stereotype.” – Don Vittorio DiMaggio “No, no, Don Vittorio, you’re not-” – Legs “Yes, I am. I know it, I am.” – Don Vittorio DiMaggio If nothing else, “The Yellow Badge of Cowardge” capped off Season 25 with the same brand of forgettable and lackluster nonsense that we’ve come to expect. (Points for consistency, if literally nothing else.) Jokes and childishly simple plot points are explained ad nauseam while the overall story staggers around in a world of dull nonsense. So, for example, near the middle of the episode Homer and…
Quote of the Day
“Oh, good, Reverend Lovejoy will make Marge take me back. He has to push the sanctity of marriage or his God will punish him.” – Homer Simpson “Get a divorce.” – Reverend Lovejoy “Mmm-hmm.” – Helen Lovejoy “But isn’t that a sin?” – Marge Simpson “Marge, just about everything is a sin. You ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we’re not allowed to go to the bathroom.” – Reverend Lovejoy Happy 20th Anniversary to “Secrets of a Successful Marriage”! Original airdate: 19 May 1994.
Sunday Preview: The Yellow Badge Of Cowardge
Bart is plagued with guilt when he wins the annual “last day of school” race around Springfield Elementary, with an assist from Nelson, who beats up frontrunner Milhouse. Meanwhile, Homer tries to bring back the annual 4th of July fireworks display after it’s canceled for budget reasons. This is the season finale, so we got that going for us. However, based on the description, there will most likely be lost of guilt horns, so that sucks. I also read that Glenn Close will be voicing Mona Simpson tonight. I am almost certain she is dead, unless they brought…
Quote of the Day
“This is my swing set. This is my sandbox. I’m not allowed to go in the deep end. That’s where I saw the leprechaun.” – Ralph Wiggum “Right, a leprechaun.” – Bart Simpson “He told me to burn things.” – Ralph Wiggum