“I’m sorry, boys, I’ve never expelled anyone before. But, that pig had some powerful friends.” – Dean Bobby Peterson “Oh, you’ll pay! Don’t think you won’t pay!” – Richard Nixon
Month: October 2015
Quote of the Day
“Did you see Tine Epstein?” – Pageant Contestant #1 “Whoa, if you’re gonna binge, you better purge.” – Pageant Contestant #2
Quote of the Day
“Hey, man, if the line’s this long, it’s gotta be good.” – Bart Simpson “Get bent.” – Complaints Window Lady Doris Grau would’ve been 91 today. Happy birthday!
Sunday Preview: Puffless
Upon learning that their father really died of lung cancer, Selma and Patty agree to quit smoking. When Selma relapses, an angry Patty moves in with Marge and Homer Yo-Yo Ma will guest star as himself tonight, which is probably because it is conceivable that his guest appearance would be even more meaningless if he played a random character. Apparently the sub-plot involves an adventure for Maggie in the animation style of “The Longest Daycare”, so prepare for that to be ruined. Also of note is that even though I am getting considerably lazier about doing these previews, as impossible…
Quote of the Day
“Bart! You haven’t been paying attention to a word I said, have you?” – Mrs. Krabappel “Yes, ma’am.” – Bart Simpson “Well then, what did I say?” – Mrs. Krabappel “Uh . . . straighten up and fly right?” – Bart Simpson “That was a lucky guess!” – Mrs. Krabappel
Saturday Morning Cartoons
“For the next week, I stayed alive by eating my mother’s delicious preserves; and maintained my sanity by dribbling a nearby basketball with my one free hand. I made a game of it, seeing how many times I could bounce the ball in a day, then trying to break that record.” – Principal Skinner There are usually a lot of easy to spot differences between something that’s done slapdash and something that’s done with creative care. Among the more subtle, are the little, inconsequential details that let you know that the people behind something genuinely gave a shit about what they…
Quote of the Day
“Now, please, please! I can assure you we’ll be using the most advanced, scientific techniques in the field of . . . body finding.” – Chief Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“I shouldn’t have shaken hands with those old people.” – Mayor Quimby “I hope that flu doesn’t affect his performance.” – Lisa Simpson “Don’t worry, he’s taken a million of these capsules.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I know that’s funny. But I’m just not laughing.” – Bart Simpson “Hmm, Pablo Neruda says laughter is the language of the soul.” – Lisa Simpson “I am familiar with the works of Pablo Neruda.” – Bart Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “Bart Sells His Soul”! Original airdate: 8 October 1995
Numbers Coming Up Short
“We’ve got a stowaway, sir.” – Not Peter Lorre “I’ll pay! How much?” – Dream Bart “Twice the fare from Tucson to Flagstaff minus two-thirds of the fare from Albuquerque to El Paso!” – Dream Martin I didn’t watch last week’s Zombie Simpsons episode; I did watch this week’s, but ran out of steam long before I could write a whole post about it. Long story short, “Cue Detective” has a meandering and incoherent story (that apparently involves alien technology that fell to Earth, but nevermind), lots of exposition to explain that story (plus whatever hapless jokes got stapled to it), and…
Quote of the Day
“The following neighborhood residents will not be killed by me. Ned Flanders. Maude Flanders.” – Sideshow Bob “Oh, isn’t that nice?” – Ned Flanders
Quote of the Day
“Hi, Marge, I was wondering if you had a power sander I could borrow?” – Ruth Powers “Homer?” – Marge Simpson “Nope.” – Homer Simpson “That’s one right there.” – Marge Simpson “Alright, but remember: it’s mine.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I really don’t see how this helps Bart.” – Marge Simpson “Just do it!” – Mrs. Krabappel
Sunday Preview: Cue Detective
Scotty Boom, a Chew Network super-chef, challenges Homer to a smoke-off. But when someone steals Homer’s secret weapon – a smoker he bought off a mysterious man at a BBQ shack – Lisa and Bart are on the case. Edward James Olmos and Bobby Moynihan guest star tonight, but I doubt it will be as entertaining as it should be to cross Battlestar with seven years of SNL. Fun fact for the week: my dog is named Craigory James Olmos (we call him Craig). Obviously he is named after the elder guest star we have tonight. So I got that goin’ too!
Quote of the Day
“Obesity is really unhealthy, any doctor will tell you that!” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, yeah? Well, we’ll just see about that, little miss smart guy.” – Homer Simpson “My God, that’s monstrous! I’ve never heard of anything so negligent. I’ll have no part of it.” – Dr. Hibbert “Can you recommend a doctor who will?” – Homer Simpson “Yes.” – Dr. Hibbert
Saturday Morning Cartoons
“Don’t you think you should get a little fresh air and maybe some exercise?” – Marge Simpson “Yeah, but what are you gonna do?” – Bart Simpson In the early days, when the show routinely came in for social criticism from cranky old people, the writers liked to use Marge as a way to shoot back. The most famous example of this was “Marge’s” letter to then First Lady Barbara Bush, but they often worked it into episodes as well. The quote above comes right after Marge asks Bart how many hours of TV he watches per day, and he casually…
Quote of the Day
“Homer, this is the Flanders’ entire living room set. How much did you pay for this?” – Marge Simpson “Only seventy-five beans!” – Homer Simpson “Seventy-five dollars? Ned must be desperate.” – Marge Simpson “I’m sure you did nothing to discourage this, you scavenger of human misery.” – Lisa Simpson “Hey, keep your hands off my china hutch!” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Okay, you can go out and play, but no more you-know-what in front of the house, alright? . . . Hey! What did I just say?” – Marge Simpson Happy birthday, Mike Scully!
Quote of the Day
“Remember how Mom used to microwave our underwear on cold days?” – Bart Simpson “Or the way Dad used to call the radio station with fake traffic tips?” – Lisa Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily”! Original airdate 1 October 1995.