“Oh, this is wonderful! You’re alive!” – Homer Simpson “No thanks to you, Homer!” – Bart Simpson “Why you little…!” – Homer Simpson “Now, Homer, please, the boy’s just had a very serious operation.” – Dr. Hibbert “Oh, right.” – Homer Simpson
Month: November 2016
Quote of the Day
“Beans, beans, the musical fruit, the more you eat, the more you toot!” – Bart Simpson “Avert your eyes, children! He may take on another form!” -Springfield Christian School Teacher
Quote of the Day
“Let me in! Someone’s trying to kill me! Sweet, merciful McGillicuddy, you gotta open the door!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Who is it?” – Homer Simpson “It’s Grampa, and it sounds like he’s gotten into the horseradish again.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“There are only forty-nine stars on that flag.” – Marge Simpson “I’ll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missoura!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Air show? Buzz cut Alabamians spewing colored smoke from their whiz jets to the strains of ‘Rock You Like a Hurricane’? What kind of country fried rube is still impressed by that?” – Sideshow Bob
Quote of the Day
“You mean there’s nothing left to clean?” – Lisa Simpson “Well, there are rocks. Thousands and thousands of rocks.” – Oil Cleanup Hippie “I’ve got rocks that need washing at home.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“We’d like to thank you for the occasional moments of peace and love our family’s experienced, well, not today. You saw what happened! Oh, Lord, be honest: are we the most pathetic family in the universe or what?” – Homer Simpson “Amen.” – The Simpsons “Worst prayer yet.” – Selma Bouvier
Quote of the Day
“Attention, all honor students will be rewarded with a trip to an archaeological dig.” – Principal Skinner “Yay!” – Honor Students “Conversely, all detention students will be punished with a trip to an archaeological dig.” – Principal Skinner “Oh, no.” – Detention Students
Quote of the Day
“Homer Simpson does not lie twice on the same form. He never has and he never will!” – Homer Simpson “You lied dozens of times on our mortgage application.” – Marge Simpson “Yeah, but they were all part of a single ball of lies.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“So the next time you use a gas chromatograph, remember to thank Mr. AJP Martin.” – Martin Prince “Brilliant, Martin! Brilliant! Once again you’ve wrecked the grading curve. I pity the poor student who has to follow you. Bart Simpson, you’re next.” – Mrs. Krabappel
Sunday Preview: Dad Behavior
Homer finds a new app that makes his life much easier and outsources his father-son bonding. Meanwhile, Grampa finds that he is about to be father again. Matt Leinart will be guest voicing tonight, as will Dan Fouts. This app apparently must have something to do with NFL quarterbacks, although why they picked a first round hall of famer and a man who was forgotten several years ago is beyond my ability to reason. Enjoy.
Quote of the Day
“But I’m a real tightwad. Can I afford this remarkable system?” – Lisa Simpson “Absolutely! My prices are so low you’ll think I’ve suffered brain damage.” – Homer Simpson “You are fully bonded and licensed by the city, aren’t you, Mr. Plow?” – Bart Simpson “Shut up, boy.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“A tombstone?” – Marge Simpson “It came with the burial plot. But that’s not important. The important thing is: Homer’s dead.” – Patty Bouvier “We’ve been saving for this since your wedding day.” – Selma Bouvier “Get out of here, you ghouls!” – Marge Simpson
A Short Appreciation of “The War of the Simpsons”
“Now, about last night, you might’ve noticed Daddy acting a little strange and you probably don’t understand why.” – Homer Simpson “I understand why. You were wasted.” – Bart Simpson “I admit it. I didn’t know when to say when. I’m sorry it happened and I just hope you didn’t lose a lot of respect for me.” – Homer Simpson “Dad, I have as much respect for you as I ever did or ever will.” – Bart Simpson “Aww.” – Homer Simpson Even all these years later, the vast range of types of episodes the show managed to knock out of…
Quote of the Day
“When I say ‘Put your beer on a coaster’, I mean it!” – Moe “You call that a knife? This is a knife! . . . Whoa, down I go.” – Hans Moleman
Quote of the Day
“Well, if God didn’t make little green apples, it’s Homer Simpson! How long have you been here?” – Ned Flanders “Twenty of the suckiest minutes of my life.” – Homer Simpson “Oh-hoho, sucking down the cider, huh? Hey, word to the wise: season pass. Pays for itself after the sixteenth visit.” – Ned Flanders
Quote of the Day
“Yeah, General Sherman, they say he’s five hundred pounds of bottom dwelling fury, dontcha know? No one knows how old he is. But, if you ask me, and most people do, he’s a hundred years if he’s a day.” – Bait Shop Owner “And no one’s ever caught him?” – Tourist “Well, one fella came close. Went by the name of Homer. Seven feet tall he was, with arms like tree trunks. And his eyes were like steel: cold and hard. Had a shock of hair, red, like the fires of hell.” – Bait Shop Owner Happy birthday, John Swartzwelder!
Behind Us Forever: Havana Wild Weekend
“Oh, you’re gonna love it in Cuba, Marge. There’s shredded pork everywhere.” – Homer Simpson In a world where up has become down and black has become white, I suppose there’s some comfort to be taken in the fact that Zombie Simpsons remains as incoherent and forgettable as ever. In this season’s second travel episode, the family goes to Cuba to get Grampa medical care, or something. That story line gets dropped very quickly in favor of a series of disconnected Cuban references and something about the CIA. This episode also features an unusual amount of “look a character just…
Quote of the Day
“Now, I suppose you both have to sign this. I hope blood won’t be necessary.” – Marge Simpson “I’m game if you are, Flanders.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I must say, Luann, you’re really handling this splendidly.” – Marge Simpson “From now on, forget everything you thought you knew about Luann van Houten!” – Luann van Houten “Actually, Luann, I don’t really know anything about you.” – Marge Simpson “Forget it! She’s gone! Presto change-o, kaboom! Sweet Fanny Adams, bye-bye!” – Luann van Houten Happy birthday, Maggie Roswell!