“Paintings, lifeless images rendered in colorful goop. But at night, they take on a life of their own. They become portals to Hell so scary and horrible and gruesome that-” – Bart Simpson “Bart, you should warn people this episode is very frightening, and maybe they’d rather listen to that old War of the Worlds broadcast on NPR.” – Marge Simpson “Yes, mother.” – Bart Simpson “Good. Now, you hold Maggie. I’m going to buy some earrings from the gift shop.” – Marge Simpson
Month: October 2017
Quote of the Day
“That’s odd, usually the blood gets off at the second floor.” – C.M. Burns
Bonus Quote of the Day
“What I’d like to say is: we’re still looking for the real killers. Anyway, in conclusion, a man cannot be forced to testify against his wife.” – Homer Simpson “Stop winking!” – Marge Simpson Happy Birthday Dan Castellaneta!
Quote of the Day
“Ah, they’re not so tough.” – Chief Wiggum “Uh, Chief, that wasn’t a monster. That was the captain of the high school basketball team.” – Lou “Yeah, well, uh, he was turning into a monster, though.” – Chief Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“Hear ye, hear ye, the court of Infernal affairs is now in session.” – Skeleton Judge “Very well, but first, some ground rules. Number one, we get bathroom breaks every half hour.” – Lionel Hutz “Agreed. Number two, the jury will be chosen by me.” – The Devil “Agreed. No, wait.” – Lionel Hutz “Silence!” – The Devil
Behind Us Forever: Treehouse of Horror XXVIII (Oh, and Morgan Spurlock returns)
“Oh, dear!” – Marge Simpson “No, Mom, it counts as a hit. Dad just won the game.” – Lisa Simpson “Well, I guess he’ll be happy when he comes to.” – Marge Simpson A few quick breakdowns: I finally watched that “Springfield of Dreams” special that FOX Sports paid Morgan Spurlock to produce to commemorate Homer’s induction into the Baseball Hall of Fame. It’s fine. Not great. Not terrible. Maybe a little too long and uneven, but watchable.Spurlock put his rolodex to work and brought in a crapton of famous people, some of whom work out better than others. Joe…
Quote of the Day
“We’ve got to find Hugo.” – Dr. Hibbert “We’ll search out every place a sick, twisted, solitary misfit might run to!” – Homer Simpson “I’ll start with Radio Shack!” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Oh, Spade, why did you put Farley in charge of the bees?” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Your son Bart sounds very bad.” – Pepe “Oh, he is. . . . Son, I just want you to know I love you very much.” – Homer Simpson “Shut up!” – Bart Simpson Happy birthday Nancy Cartwright!
Quote of the Day
“Do you know that my son Herschel was first in his Yeshiva class? As a matter of fact, he was voted the most likely to hear God.” – Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky “Oh, go on, Hyman, you’re exaggerating again, you’re so proud of your son.” – Other Rabbi “A rabbi would never exaggerate! A rabbi composes, he creates thoughts, he tells stories that may never have happened, but he does not exaggerate!” – Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky
Quote of the Day
“Happy birthday, Bart!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Thanks, Grampa!” – Bart Simpson “Where’d you get all the money?” – Marge Simpson “The government. I didn’t earn it. I don’t need it. But if they miss one payment I’ll raise hell!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I hope you all enjoy your ride to and tour of the Springfield Shopper newspaper. Groundskeeper Willie and I will stay behind to remove all traces of asbestos and the word ‘evolution’ from our school.” – Principal Skinner “Next stop: Margaritaville! . . . Oh, they’re still here.” – Groundskeeper Willie
Quote of the Day
“Remember, Smithers: in and out in eighteen seconds.” – C.M. Burns
Behind Us Forever: Whistler’s Father
“Look at those silk pillows! It’s like the set of some high class porno film.” – Marge Simpson “No, no, it’s just our basement” – Homer Simpson “Hold on, that’s our basement?” – Marge Simpson “Yes, so? Come on, more kissing.” – Homer Simpson “It looks so elegant! And all it takes are some lace curtains and a beaded lampshade. You’ve got to show me exactly what you did!” – Marge Simpson “But I was gonna score!” – Homer Simpson “No, you weren’t.” – Marge Simpson NOTE: Sorry this is so late. Been one of those weeks. (And I just…
Quote of the Day
♫”Bart was feeling mighty blue.” – Homer Simpson “It’s a shame what school can do.” – Marge Simpson “For no reason, here’s Apu.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “Those were the days!”♫ – Homer, Marge, & Apu
Quote of the Day
“Ensign Kodos, set coordinates for the obscure, t-shirt producing planet known as Earth.” – Kang
Quote of the Day
“You know, some women find bald men quite virile.” – Marge Simpson “Marge, weren’t you listening? This is a ‘miracle breakthrough’, not one of these cheapo sucker deals.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“On the line with us now is plant owner C. Montgomery Burns. Mr. Burns?” – Kent Brockman “Oh, hello, Kent. Right now, skilled nuclear energy technicians are calmly correcting a minor piffling malfunction.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“This is where the wolf blows down the pig’s house.” – Marge Simpson “He blows alright. He blows big time.” – Bart Simpson “That’s it, honey! Get into the spirit!” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Lisa, I know a song that will cheer you up. . . . There once was an ugly duckling…” – Marge Simpson “So you think I’m ugly?” – Lisa Simpson “No! No, I meant you were one of the good looking ducks . . . that makes fun of the ugly one. Hmm.” – Marge Simpson