“I’m coming with you. I got you fired, it’s the least I can do. Well, the least I can do is absolutely nothing, but I’ll go you one better and come along.” – Homer Simpson
Month: June 2012
Reading Digest: Aussie Edition
“See? The Southern Hemisphere is made up of everything below the Equa- . . . this line.” – Lisa Simpson “So down there in, say, Argentina or Rand McNally, all their water runs backwards?” – Bart Simpson “Uh-huh. In fact, in Rand McNally, they wear hats on their feet and hamburgers eat people.” – Lisa Simpson “Cool.” – Bart Simpson I don’t know if it’s a holiday there or what, but we’ve got lots of links from our friends down in the penal colony this week. There’s charity and Simpsons bitching, and the greatest waste of perfectly good beer since…
Quote of the Day
“I don’t entertain much. Usually it’s just soup for one, salad for one, wine for three.” – Mrs. Krabappel
Compare & Contrast: Celebrity Game Shows and Homer Simpson
“Hurry, Charley, there is not much time.” – Rainier Wolfcastle “I ain’t goin’ nowhere. I’ve been in this square fer near thirty seasons, and I ain’t a leavin’ now. Aaaahhhh!” – Not Charley Weaver “He’s dead now.” – Homer Simpson Without drawing too broad a conclusion from just one example, there aren’t many clearer comparisons for how the show’s sense of humor deteriorated than to look at the two times they poked fun at The Hollywood Squares, first in Season 4’s masterful “Krusty Gets Kancelled”, and then again in Season 11’s pathetic “Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder”. What makes these two…
Quote of the Day
“Scott, things aren’t as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors; useful people are starting to feel the pinch.” – Kent Brockman “I haven’t been able to find a job in six years.” – Barney Gumble “And what training do you have?” – Kent Brockman “Five years of modern dance; six years of tap.” – Barney Gumble
Crazy Noises: Hello Gutter Hello Fadder
“There is no escape from the fortress of the moles! . . . Well, except that.” – Moleman For the fourth summer in a row, we here at the Dead Homer Society will be spending some time discussing twelve year old Simpsons episodes. This year we’re doing Season 11. Why Season 11? Because we’ve done Seasons 8, 9 and 10 already, and it’s time to take an unflinching look at the end of the show. Since Skype and podcasts didn’t exist in 1999, and we want to discuss these episodes the way the internet intended, we’re sticking with the UTF-8…
Quote of the Day
“You’re letting me go?” – Kirk van Houten “Kirk, crackers are a family food. Happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers, we don’t know. Frankly, we don’t want to know. It’s a market we can do without.” – Southern Cracker Executive
Crazy Noises: E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)
“You’re not gonna grow nothin’ on the old Simpson place. That’s why your Daddy abandoned it.” – Chuck Sneed “Aw, what do you know?” – Homer Simpson “Well, I know your soil pH is up around 9.6, and you need it 7 to 8, max.” – Chuck Sneed “Oh, that’s just superstition.” – Homer Simpson For the fourth summer in a row, we here at the Dead Homer Society will be spending some time discussing twelve year old Simpsons episodes. This year we’re doing Season 11. Why Season 11? Because we’ve done Seasons 8, 9 and 10 already, and it’s…
Quote of the Day
“I’m Lionel Hutz, executor of Miss Bouvier’s estate. She left a video will, so I earn my fee simply by pressing this play button. Pretty sweet, eh?” – Lionel Hutz
Quote of the Day
“Authorities say the phony Pope can be recognized by his high top sneakers and incredibly foul mouth.” – Kent Brockman
Quote of the Day
“Oh my God, someone’s taken a bite out of the big rice krispie square! . . . Oh yeah, and the waiter’s been brutally beaten.” – Chief Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“This gets uglier every year. Any sign of Bart and Milhouse?” – Richard “No, and if they don’t get here soon, it’ll be TS for them.” – Lewis “I don’t feel right.” – Ralph Wiggum
Reading Digest: Groening Retires Edition
“Please don’t make me retire. My job is the only thing that keeps me alive. I never married and my dog is dead. . . . I’m not finished!” – Jack Marley “Oh, yes, you are.” – C.M. Burns Matt Groening quit two things this week, his long running “Life in Hell” comic, and a gag charity band he was in with a bunch of other famous people. As a retirement gift, may I strongly recommend the first YouTube video embedded below? I’m warning you now: it’s 5m:44s. It’s also worth watching. In addition to that we have non-Zombie Simpsons…
Quote of the Day
“Wait a minute. These are not sprinkles, sir.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “What do you mean?” – Homer Simpson “You’ve clearly taken items from the candy rack and placed them on top of the donut in an attempt to pass them off as sprinkles.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “Well, it was like that when I got here, it really was!” – Homer Simpson “A Mounds bar is not a sprinkle! A Twizzler is not a sprinkle! A Jolly Rancher is not a sprinkle, sir. Perhaps in Shangri-la they are, but not here!” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“Zombie Simpsons” Update
“To those who doubt the power of the magic 8-ball, I say: behold my F!” – Bart Simpson You may have noticed that since last weekend the “Zombie Simpsons: How the Best Show Ever Became the Broadcasting Undead” pages have undergone some revisions. The text of the book here at the site is now completely updated to the official 1.1 version of the text. In addition to that, the main page has been revised to account for the fact that the book is now completely up at the site and not being parceled out chapter by chapter. The Kindle version…
Quote of the Day
“Children are so fat today! Isn’t there some way we can make money off that?” – Agnes Skinner Happy (one day late) birthday Tress MacNeille!
Mr. Burns, A Post-Electric Play: Enjoyed By All
By Hank Pumpkins Let me start out by saying this: I both love to pretend, and am horrible at, being a journalist, a profession where my egocentrism is at odds with my sheer obliviousness. Which explains why I showed up to the Wooly Mammoth Theatre haughty with lofty perceptions of how I would craft my review-de-resistance—and also why I showed up looking like a sweaty bum, wearing a White Sox cap, my trusty Toms loafers, and a t-shirt of Boba Fett if he were a dog (“Boba Fetch”, a bartender explained to me later—like I said, oblivious). Were I a…
Quote of the Day
“Oh, I’m gonna miss the whole summer.” – Bart Simpson “Don’t worry, boy, when you get a job, like me, you’ll miss every summer.” – Homer Simpson
Crazy Noises: Treehouse of Horror X
“Bart, just let me drop and save yourself!” – Clobber Girl “What do you think I’ve been trying to do?” – Stretch Dude For the fourth summer in a row, we here at the Dead Homer Society will be spending some time discussing twelve year old Simpsons episodes. This year we’re doing Season 11. Why Season 11? Because we’ve done Seasons 8, 9 and 10 already, and it’s time to take an unflinching look at the end of the show. Since Skype and podcasts didn’t exist in 1999, and we want to discuss these episodes the way the internet intended,…
Quote of the Day
“Let’s have a look at my stock portfolio, hmm? . . . Confederated Slave Holdings, how’s that doing?” – C.M. Burns “It’s, uh . . . uh, steady.” – Bowtied Yes Man