“Jack, please, I’m married.” – Soap Opera Woman “That must be what’s turning me on.” – Jack “Oh, stop it . . . some more . . .” – Soap Opera Woman “Filthy. . . . But genuinely arousing.” – Mrs. Glick Happy birthday James L. Brooks!
Category: Happy Birthday
Quote of the Day
“I’m sorry, did you just call me a liar?” – Principal Skinner “No, I said you were fired.” – Superintendent Chalmers “Oh. That’s much worse.” – Seymour Skinner
Quote of the Day
“Bart, I’ve noticed your birthday presents are a poor crop at best. I hope this turns the tide.” – Martin Prince “Ooh, just gorgeous.” – Patty Bouvier “Now we can be twins!” – Martin Prince Happy birthday, Al Jean!
Quote of the Day
“Ninety seconds to core meltdown.” – SNPP Computer Voice “Sir, there may never be another time to say: I love you, sir.” – Mr. Smithers “Oh, hot dog. Thank you for making my last few moments on Earth socially awkward!” – C.M. Burns Happy birthday, Harry Shearer!
Quote of the Day
“Yeah, General Sherman, they say he’s five hundred pounds of bottom dwelling fury, dontcha know? No one knows how old he is. But, if you ask me, and most people do, he’s a hundred years if he’s a day.” – Bait Shop Owner “And no one’s ever caught him?” – Tourist “Well, one fella came close. Went by the name of Homer. Seven feet tall he was, with arms like tree trunks. And his eyes were like steel: cold and hard. Had a shock of hair, red, like the fires of hell.” – Bait Shop Owner Happy birthday, John Swartzwelder!
Quote of the Day
“I must say, Luann, you’re really handling this splendidly.” – Marge Simpson “From now on, forget everything you thought you knew about Luann van Houten!” – Luann van Houten “Actually, Luann, I don’t really know anything about you.” – Marge Simpson “Forget it! She’s gone! Presto change-o, kaboom! Sweet Fanny Adams, bye-bye!” – Luann van Houten Happy birthday, Maggie Roswell!
Quote of the Day
“You’re so lucky. When are you going to meet him?” – Miss Hoover “First, I ask him to send a photo. If he’s got everything where it should be, I’m reeling him in!” – Mrs. Krabappel Marcia Wallace would’ve been 74 today. Happy birthday!
Quote of the Day
“Basic ceremony’s twenty bucks, here’s your license. Be sure to get this punched every time. The tenth wedding’s on the house!” – Shotgun Pete’s Receptionist “Hey, this marriage is gonna last forever!” – Homer Simpson “Haha, no matter how many times I hear that, it always makes me laugh.” – Shotgun Pete’s Receptionist Doris Grau would’ve been 92 today. Happy birthday.
Quote of the Day
“And I want a bike, and a monkey, and a friend for the monkey…” – Ralph Wiggum “You’re not gonna start any fires, are you?” – Hosey the Bear “At my house we call them Uh-Ohs.” – Ralph Wiggum Happy (one day late) Birthday Mike Scully!
Bonus Quote of the Day
“Oh, here he comes. What is it now, Quimby?” – Hollywood Producer “Nothing, nothing, only the city has just passed another tax on, uh, puffy directing pants.” – Mayor Quimby “But I don’t wear puffy pants!” – Hollywood Director “I meant a tax on not wearing puffy pants.” – Mayor Quimby “Oy.” – Hollywood Producer “I’m sorry.” – Mayor Quimby Happy Birthday Brad Bird!
Quote of the Day
“Hi! I’m Troy McClure! You might remember me from such educational films as Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun, and Firecrackers: The Silent Killer.” – Troy McClure Phil Hartman would’ve been sixty-eight today. Happy birthday, Phil.
Quote of the Day
“Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me.” – Homer Simpson “You stupid, ha ha ha…” – TV “D’oh!” – Homer Simpson Happy birthday David Mirkin!
Quote of the Day
“Sing us a song, Shary Bobbins.” – Bart Simpson “Yeah, sing us a song!” – Lisa Simpson “I’ve been singing you songs all day! I’m not a bloody jukebox!” – Shary Bobbins
Quote of the Day
“Strange, regular ham doesn’t thrill me anymore. I’m crossing over to deviled ham!” – Marge Simpson Happy Birthday Julie Kavner!
Quote of the Day
“What made you yell out that remark? . . . You just wanted to express yourself, yes?” – Brad Goodman “I do what I feel like.” – Bart Simpson “That’s marvelous, I couldn’t have put it better myself. I do what I feel like. People, this young man here is the inner child I’ve been talking about.” – Brad Goodman “What?” – Lisa Simpson Happy birthday, Albert Brooks!
Quote of the Day
“You’re so supportive. I wish every teacher was like you!” – Marge Simpson “Marge, please. I don’t take praise very well!” – Professor Lombardo Happy birthday, Jon Lovitz!
Quote of the Day
“Well, it appears science has faltered once again in the face of overwhelming religious evidence.” – Rev. Lovejoy “But-” – Lisa Simpson “Go home, science girl!” – Moe “I am home.” – Lisa Simpson “Good. Stay there.” – Moe Happy birthday David S/X Cohen!
Quote of the Day
“I don’t know if I like you experimenting on your brother.” – Marge Simpson “Please, mother, it’s purely in the interest of science.” – Lisa Simpson “That’ll learn him to bust my tomater!” – Lisa’s Brain Happy birthday Yeardley Smith!
Quote of the Day
“It is a candy dish, Ned. Ninety dollars.” – Mrs. Glick “Well, I guess you could put a lot of nice things in there.” – Ned Flanders “No! Just candy, Ned! Ninety dollars!” – Mrs. Glick Happy Birthday, Tress MacNeille!
Quote of the Day
“There she is, the world’s first convenience store!” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “This isn’t very convenient.” – Homer Simpson “Must you dump on everything we do?” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon Happy birthday Greg Daniels!