Dave fled the country again (the man really doesn’t like Zombie Simpsons), and I don’t know how to do blood the way he does in Photoshop, but I’d say the image above speaks for itself. We are now literally swarming with magic robots: Mr. Burns replaces all of Springfield Power Plant’s employees with robots but decides to keep Homer as the sole human worker. With unemployment at an all-time high and mechanical arms operating the workplace, Springfield becomes a dismal and humorless place. But when Homer’s machine-programmed peers start to turn on the community and his former real-life employees come…
Month: March 2012
Quote of the Day
“Doesn’t this car have seatbelts?” – Lisa Simpson “Seatbelts, pfft. They kill more people than they save.” – Homer Simpson “That’s not true, you’re thinking of airbags!” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Listen up, this is the busiest drinking day of the year. Where are the designated drivers? Beat it! I got no room for cheapskates.” – Moe
Reading Digest: Simpsons Crossover Edition
“Attention American workers, your plant has been taken over by an all-star team of freelance terrorists.” – Not Hans Gruber “Not on my shift! . . . Simpson 10, Terrorists 8.” – Homer Simpson This week we’ve got three links to fan made pop culture crossovers, two of them are small (one for Lord of the Rings and one for My Little Pony), and one is marvelously epic. Unlike a recent episode or two I could mention, all three are fine examples of putting Simpsons characters into other fictional universes. There’s also a great, but most likely short lived, Itchy…
Quote of the Day
“I could get a job.” – Marge Simpson “Hey, then I could follow my dream, living in the woods and keeping a journal of my thoughts.” – Homer Simpson “March 15th, I wish I brought a TV. Oh God, how I miss TV!” – Dream Homer
Quote of the Day
“This is Papa Bear, put out an APB for a male suspect driving a . . . car, of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless, repeat, hatless!” – Chief Wiggum Happy birthday David Silverman!
Crazy Noises: How I Wet Your Mother
“You know, Bart, I don’t think this is such a bad present. Maybe you just shouldn’t talk into it as loud as your father does.” – Marge Simpson As part of our tireless efforts to demonstrate the many ways Zombie Simpsons fails to entertain, Season 23 will be subjected to the kind of rigorous examination that can only be produced by people typing short messages at one another. More dedicated or modern individuals might use Twitter for this, but that’s got graphics and short links and little windows that pop up when you put your cursor over things. The only…
Quote of the Day
“1796, a fiercely determined band of pioneers leaves Maryland after misinterpreting a passage in the Bible. Their destination? New Sodom.” – Filmstrip Narrator
Compare & Contrast: Family Therapy and Meta Commentary
“Wait a minute, these mallet things are padded with foam rubber. What’s the point?” – Homer Simpson “They’d work much better without the padding, Doc.” – Bart Simpson “No, no, that’s not true.” – Dr. Marvin Monroe Shortly after Frink fell out of the sky and “How I Wet Your Mother” took its disastrous Inception turn halfway through, one of the scenes the family quantum slept into was a callback to an old Tracey Ullman short called “Family Therapy”. (The original is about the family going to a therapist whom they torment until he throws them out of his office.) …
Quote of the Day
“Oh, Mrs. Simpson, you are looking very prosperous today. Might I interest you in some of our impulse items here by the cash register?” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
All Exposition All the Time
“Eww.” – Lisa Simpson Near the beginning of The Great Muppet Caper, Diana Rigg, playing wealthy fashion designer Lady Holiday, tells Miss Piggy all about her ne’er-do-well brother and the giant diamond that will be central to the plot. Miss Piggy then asks Rigg why she’s telling her all that stuff. Rigg’s response should be carved into the walls of studios, film schools, and wherever they’re producing Zombie Simpsons these days: It’s plot exposition. It has to go somewhere. Indeed it does, but “somewhere” is not “everywhere”, a distinction that was lost on “How I Wet Your Mother”. About two…
Quote of the Day
“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. I am going to win this lottery.” – Homer Simpson “Homer, the odds are three-hundred-and-eighty million to one.” – Marge Simpson “Correction, three-hundred-and-eighty million to fifty!” – Homer Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to #Simpsons classic “Dog of Death”! Original airdate 12 March 1992.
Sunday Preview: How I Wet Your Mother
We’re in for a long week: Karma gets the best of Homer after he gets his friends in trouble, and as a result, his bedwetting problem worsens. The family goes on a mission to infiltrate his dreams to search for clues in his subconscious to determine the source of his problem. But just as things take a dangerous turn in the dream, a figure from Homer’s past appears, and he is finally reassured that the fond memories of his mother Mona (guest voice Glenn Close) remain alive, giving him just the right amount of reassurance to cure him of his…
Quote of the Day
“I know one of you is responsible for this, so repeat after me. If I withhold the truth may I go straight to Hell, where I will eat naught but burning hot coals and drink naught but burning hot cola.” – Reverend Lovejoy “Where fiery demons will punch me in the back.” – Ralph Wiggum “Where my soul will be chopped into confetti and strewn upon a parade of murderers and single mothers.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Mom, Dad threw his beer can at the Miracle-Gro guy on TV. Can I recycle it?” – Lisa Simpson “Why not?” – Marge Simpson
Reading Digest: Jealous of Canada Edition
Oh, Canada, you guys get all the cool stuff. Not only is tomorrow the one night only engagement of the Simpsons burlesque show in Toronto, but Canada is also now home to a wine called “D’Oh”. I would very much like to attend the former, preferably while imbibing the latter. Sadly, I am stuck Stateside. This week we’ve also got two awesome paeans to the show from people who grew up watching it, interviews with Groening and Reiss, a video game mishap, two people making fun of the Game of Thrones opening from last week, and a “needs more weed”…
Quote of the Day
“This is Kent Brockman, with a special report from the Channel 6 News Copter. A large, bear-like animal, most likely a bear, has wandered down from the hills in search of food or, perhaps, employment.” – Kent Brockman
Compare & Contrast: Fake Stores and Artists of Varying Fame
“Dad, chew with your mouth closed. You’re losing your mystique.” – Lisa Simpson “Lisa, all great artists love free food. Check out Jasper Johns.” – Homer Simpson “You squeal on me, I’ll kill you.” – Jasper Johns Zombie Simpsons’ remarkable inability to parody things beyond changing around a few letters has been brought up around here before. Ditto their lame celebrity guest policy of having people voice themselves in what usually amount to barely concealed brag statements about how awesome they are in real life. With “Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart”, Zombie Simpsons managed to pull both of those tired old…
Quote of the Day
“Friends? Ha! These are my only friends, grown up nerds like Gore Vidal, and even he’s kissed more boys than I ever will.” – Lisa Simpson “Girls, Lisa, boys kiss girls.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Now, I believe you have some sort of firearm for me.” – Homer Simpson “Well, let’s see here. According to your background check you’ve been in a mental institution.” – Bloodbath & Beyond Gun Shop Guy “Yeah.” – Homer Simpson “Frequent problems with alcohol.” – Bloodbath & Beyond Gun Shop Guy “Oh yeah.” – Homer Simpson “You beat up President Bush.” – Bloodbath & Beyond Gun Shop Guy “Former President. . . . ‘Potentially Dangerous’?” – Homer Simpson “Relax, that just limits you to three hand guns or less.” – Bloodbath & Beyond Gun Shop Guy “Woo-hoo!” – Homer Simpson