“Ah the morning horoscope, ‘Today will be a day like every other day’. Oh, it just gets worse and worse!” – Homer Simpson Happy birthday John Swartzwelder!
Month: November 2012
Quote of the Day
“Okay, men, it’s time to clean up this town.” – Homer Simpson “Meaning what, exactly?” – Principal Skinner “You know, push people around, make ourselves feel big.” – Homer Simpson
Compare & Contrast: Simpson Family Gambling Problems
“Okay, Marge, let’s go.” – Homer Simpson “I’ll catch up to you.” – Marge Simpson “Marge, I’m taking the car.” – Homer Simpson “I’ll walk.” – Marge Simpson “This late, through the bad neighborhood?” – Homer Simpson “Yeah.” – Marge Simpson “Marge-” – Homer Simpson “Go home, you’re bad luck!” – Marge Simpson “Wait, I see what’s happening here. You’re just mad because everyone in this town loves gambling except for you. Well, that’s just sad.” – Homer Simpson Zombie Simpsons long ago lost all interest in telling stories that are even coherent, much less entertaining or – heaven forefend…
Quote of the Day
“Hey, Homer, you’re late for English.” – Barney Gumble “Pfft, English, who needs that? I’m never going to England.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“You have twenty-four hours to give us our money. And to show you we’re serious, you have twelve hours.” – Fat Tony Happy birthday Joe Mantegna!
Quote of the Day
“All you can eat, ha!” – Homer Simpson “Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film ‘The Neverending Story’.” – Lionel Hutz “So, do you think I have a case?” – Homer Simpson “Homer, I don’t use the word hero very often, but you are the greatest hero in American history.” – Lionel Hutz “Woo-hoo!” – Homer Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “New Kid on the Block”! Original airdate 12 November 1992.
Sunday Open Thread
From Simpsons Channel: When Grampa escapes from his retirement home, Homer and Marge frantically try to track him down by following clues that reveal secrets in Grampa’s past, including that he worked at a local restaurant with composer Marvin Hamlisch (guest-voicing as himself) There’s more, but I think we’ve all got the gist. (Sorry for the late post, the effort necessary to care about Zombie Simpsons sometimes takes a while to summon.)
Quote of the Day
“Here we have an Alaskan timberwolf. He weighs two-hundred and forty pounds and his jaws can bite through a parking meter. He does get spooked by loud noises.” – Zoo Lady “Loud? That’s our secret word for the day!” – Krusty the Klown Happy (belated) 20th Anniversary to “Marge Gets a Job”! Original airdate 5 November 1992. (Also got lost in the craziness and confusion and mishegoss of the election.)
Quote of the Day
“Captain’s log, stardate sixty-fifty-one, had trouble sleeping last night. My hiatal hernia is acting up. The ship is drafty and damp. I complain but, nobody listens.” – Captain Kirk “Star Trek XII: So Very Tired. See the original cast in their latest, greatest adventure.” – TV Announcer “Captain, Klingons off the starboard bow.” – Mr. Sulu “Again with the Klingons. Mr. Scott, give me full power.” – Captain Kirk “It’s no good, captain, I canna reach the control panel.” – Mr. Scott Happy (belated) 20th Anniversary to “Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie”. Original airdate 3 November 1992. (Got lost in…
Reading Digest: Election Hangover Edition
“It’s a landslide, yes on 24! The proposition passed with a record ninety-five percent.” – Kent Brockman “When are people going to learn? Democracy doesn’t work!” – Homer Simpson Shorter than average Reading Digest this week for the obvious reason that there was this election thing taking up everyone’s time and attention. All was not squandered, however, as we did get several excellent election related links, including a few with great YouTube. There’s also an assortment of other stuff, including usage, opera and Karl Rove. Enjoy. Soup of the Day – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this awesome…
Quote of the Day
“His pink slip awaits your signature, sir.” – Mr. Smithers “Now that’s odd, I’ve just robbed a man of his livelihood, and yet I feel strangely empty. Tell you what, Smithers, have him beaten to a pulp.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“If you really wanted us to be neater, you’d serve us out of one long bowl.” – Bart Simpson “You’re talking about a trough. We’re not going to eat from a trough. And another thing, it’s only five-fifteen, why are you in your underwear?” – Marge Simpson “Hey, this ain’t the Ritz.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
Left image yoinked from here, right image yoinked from here. “Hey, do we get to land on an aircraft carrier?” – Homer Simpson “No, sir. The closest vessel is the U.S.S. Walter Mondale; it’s a laundry ship. They’ll take you the rest of the way.” – Helicopter Pilot
Simpsons Episodes for a Dreary Election
“You must have a few tricks left up your sleeve. Smithers, boil some coffee, we’re not licked yet!” – C.M. Burns “Yes we are. Come on boys, the old guy’s finished.” – Campaign Manager America’s biennial exercise in the most basic kind of math there is – counting – takes place today. And while there is unlikely to be any really useful information about just how large Kang’s victory margin will be until after 8pm Eastern time, that will not stop the internet, radio, and television (to say nothing of telegraph and telex machines) from pumping out breathless horseshit that…
Quote of the Day
“Didn’t you hear what the guy in the building said?” – Homer Simpson “But, Dad, don’t you think-” – Lisa Simpson “Ah, Lisa, the whole reason we have elected officials is so we don’t have to think all the time, just like that rain forest scare a few years back. Our officials saw there was a problem and they fixed it, didn’t they?” – Homer Simpson “No, Dad, I don’t think-” – Lisa Simpson “There’s that word again.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I am looking forward to an orderly election tomorrow, which will eliminate the need for a violent bloodbath.” – Kodos
Sunday Preview: Adventures in Baby-Getting
After a few weeks of relief thanks to MLB, Zombie Simpsons is back with the 3rd episode of the season. When Marge’s car falls into a sink hole, she buys the perfect replacement to fit her family of five. But she quickly grows to hate it because, as she tells a shocked Homer, the car would be too small if she wanted to have another baby. Meanwhile, Bart and his friends are determined to find out what secret Lisa is keeping when Bart finds her cryptic messages and follows her sneaking off downtown for covert meetings after school. So I…
Quote of the Day
“Executive, Legislative, and, uh, Judicial.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “No, no and no! Ugh, maybe we should start all over with the electrical college.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Oh my God, the dead have risen and they’re voting Republican!” – Bart Simpson
Reading Digest: Halloween Hangover Edition
“Happy Halloween everybody!” – The Simpsons It always sucks when Halloween lands in the middle of the week. When you’re a kid it means you can’t stay up all night gorging on candy, and when you’re a grown-up it means you can’t stay up all night gorging on candy and booze. Regardless of when it falls, however, it’s still one of the best holidays of the year and this week we’ve got lots of links to prove it. There are plenty of both Simpsons costumes and Simpsons watch lists, as well as excellent usage, lots of animated .gifs, and several…