“Torture Land, Explosion Land, Searing Gas Pain Land, Unnecessary Surgery Land . . . hmmm.” – Marge Simpson Universal Studios down in America’s Wang is getting ready to unveil their new and expanded Simpsons area. This caused half the people on the internet to link to it this week, so it’s a shorter than average Reading Digest. We do have a video of it under construction, as well as something much cooler: a fan made map of Disney Land crossed with Itchy & Scratchy Land. In addition to that we’ve got a bunch of other excellent fan made stuff, an…
Month: May 2013
Quote of the Day
“Outta my way, I got a date with an angel.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “You don’t know how right you are, Abe.” – Jasper “What?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but Bea passed away last night. It was her ticker. The doc said her left ventrical burst.” – Jasper “Oh, no Jasper, they may say she died of a burst ventrical, but I know she died of a broken heart.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Quote of the Day
“But you can’t let a few bad experiences sour you on helping people.” – Marge Simpson “Oh, sure I can.” – Reverend Lovejoy
Quote of the Day
“Very well, Lisa, what rousing Sousa march would you have us play?” – Mr. Largo “Well, I thought maybe for once we could play a song that wasn’t written by Sousa.” – Lisa Simpson “You mean something just arranged by Sousa?” – Mr. Largo Happy birthday Danny Elfman!
Quote of the Day
“Homer, I couldn’t help overhearing you warp Bart’s mind.” – Marge Simpson “And?” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“The Flanders are having a beef-a-thon, incredible Nedibles, Maudacious vittles.” – Lisa Simpson “Hmm, I think it means he’s having a barbeque.” – Marge Simpson “Well why didn’t he just say so?” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“You see, the law business is a little slow, and since most of my clients wind up losing their houses, this was a natural move for me.” – Lionel Hutz
Quote of the Day
“Bart, why’d you take the blame?” – Lisa Simpson “Cause, I didn’t want to wreck your life. You got the brains and the talent to go as far as you want, and when you do, I’ll be right there to borrow money.” – Bart Simpson
Reading Digest: Crack Smoking Mayor Edition
“Fernando, it’s M.B.” – C.M. Burns “Ah, Marion Barry, is it time for another shipment already?” – Fernando Vidal “This is Montgomery Burns!” – C.M. Burns “Oh, caramba.” – Fernando Vidal The weather has turned nice, people are having fun outdoors, and Zombie Simpsons won’t blight anyone’s television for months; it must be Memorial Day weekend, the semi-official start of summer time. To celebrate, albeit a bit early, Toronto’s mayor smoked rock and got filmed doing it. But, oh, Canada, we were ahead of you on that, and The Simpsons made fun of it to boot. In addition, we’ve got…
Quote of the Day
“Who needs his money? We’re getting by okay.” – Homer Simpson “Son, you gotta help me! I hit three people on the way over here, and I don’t have any insurance! So, how’s by you?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Behind Us Forever: The Saga of Carl & Dangers on a Train (And Season 24!)
“So long, suck-ahhh!” – Bart Simpson Because FOX sucks at scheduling, how about a two episode season finale? Why not!: After a clumsy introduction they’ve convinced themselves that repeating the phrase “Ki Ya” over and over again is funny. Also, why is Marge bathing Bart? This video with Pascal, in a voice that sounds like Azaria trying to keep himself awake, is just as boring as a real museum exhibit. I miss the zinc filmstrip. “Because people always laugh when you say sixty-nine. No one knows why.” – I bet this line got a big laugh in the screenwriting elective…
Quote of the Day
“I thought it was so opulent, like the Playboy Mansion, but non-sexual.” – Marge Simpson “That place is weird. A man in the bathroom kept handing me towels till I paid him to stop.” – Bart Simpson “Shoulda held out longer, boy.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Now put your left leg into the left side of the pants, and you’re done.” – Lisa Simpson “I dress myself.” – Ralph Wiggum
Hey, Everybody, Season 24 Is Over
“Hi, kids! . . . What the . . . is this Saturday?” – Krusty the Klown I’m still going to do Behind Us Forever for this week’s episodes, but the last two days have not been kind in terms of free time. In the interim, how about a little ratings schadenfreude? Sunday’s episodes both scored dismal ratings, with the first one (“The Saga of Carl”) coming in at just 4.01 million viewers, and “Dangers on a Train” bumping up a bit to 4.52 million. The former is good for #2 on the all time least watched list, with even…
Quote of the Day
“Mom, there’s nothing to be alarmed about . . . but could you take one last look at the family and join me in the kitchen?” – Homer Simpson Happy birthday Richard Appel!
Quote of the Day
“Keep up the roughhousing, son. Without a strong male presence in the house, you could turn sissy overnight! Oh, these stubborn grass stains.” – Homer Simpson
Sunday Preview(s): The Saga Of Carl and Dangers On A Train
In “The Saga of Carl”, Homer, Moe, Lenny and Carl win the Springfield Lottery. But when Carl takes off to Iceland – his Homeland – with all the winnings, the guys embark on a Nordic adventure to rescue the cash. In “Dangers on a Train”, looking for a cupcake website, Marge mistakenly ends up an online dating site for married people to arrange affairs. There she encounters Ben, who tries to seduce her based on their mutual love of TV series Upton Rectory, mostly over the phone. Oooohh! Double Feature!! I can’t recall The Simpsons ever trying to end a season…
Quote of the day
“I don’t need a card, you live in the room next to me.” – Lisa Simpson “Note: next year, order fewer cards.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Okay, Homer, bases loaded and you’re up. Where’s that secret weapon?” – Carl “Check it out, boys, my magic bat.” – Homer Simpson “That’s it?” – Carl “Yeah, I got a magic bat, too.” – Lenny “And I got an enchanted jockstrap.” – Carl
Reading Digest: Missing Canadian Edition
“It took the children forty minutes to locate Canada on the map.” – Marge Simpson “Marge, anyone can miss Canada, all tucked away down there.” – Homer Simpson Whenever Zombie Simpsons hitches its fading star to a currently popular celebrity, your Katys Perry and Ladys Gaga, the internet throws a brief but mild fit wherein huge numbers of pop culture sites that normally couldn’t give a fuck about the show write about how Celebrity X is gonna be Simpsonized. That very thing happened this week in regards to Justin Bieber’s brief and pointless cameo, so it’s a bit of a…