“Leonard Nimoy, what are you doing here?” – Bart Simpson “Wherever there is mystery and the unexplained, cosmic forces shall draw me near.” – Leonard Nimoy “Uh-huh.” – Bart Simpson “Hey, Spock, what do you want on your hot dog?” – Hot Dog Guy “Surprise me.” – Leonard Nimoy
Month: May 2013
Quote of the Day
“You see me as a god, right, Smithers?” – C.M. Burns “Absolutely, sir.” – Mr. Smithers “You’d kneel before me.” – C.M. Burns “Boy, would I.” – Mr. Smithers “Yes.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“Tonight on Smartline, the power plant strike: argle-bargle or foofaraw? With us tonight are plant owner C.M. Burns, union kingpin Homer Simpson, and talk show mainstay Dr. Joyce Brothers.” – Kent Brockman “I brought my own mike.” – Dr. Joyce Brothers
Behind Us Forever: Fabulous Faker Boy
“My hair! You chopped off my hair! Oh, God, I’m ugly!” – Homer Simpson Well, it was certainly nice of the Robot Chicken guys to eat up ninety seconds of screentime with that opening. And it’s a good thing they did, because if this scene with Marge and Skinner is any indication, we’re mostly in for filler here. Skinner is now playing a guitar he pulled from behind his desk as surely as if it was a rabbit from a hat, and this goes on until well after Marge had left the building. Sideshow Mel is now giving Bart music…
Quote of the Day
“You have to start putting money back into the school. You’ve cut back on everything, salaries, supplies, the food! I don’t care what you say, I can taste the newspaper.” – Mrs. Krabappel “Bosh, shredded newspapers add much needed roughage and essential inks. Besides, you didn’t notice the old gym mats.” – Principal Skinner “There’s very little meat in these gym mats.” – Lunchlady Doris
Quote of the Day
“Well, you’ve been on TV longer than I have. I’m sure you’ve saved up quite a nest egg.” – Johnny Carson “Uh, yeah. Do they still buy human hair down at the wig shop?” – Krusty the Klown Happy 20th anniversary to “Krusty Gets Kancelled”! Original airdate 13 May 1993.
Sunday Preview: The Fabulous Faker Boy
Marge encourages Bart to explore his creative side and take music lessons and Bart develops a crush on his beautiful piano teacher, Zhenya. To pay for Bart’s music lessons, Marge agrees to be Slava’s driving instructor. Homer is shocked when he loses the last two remaining hairs on his head and Patrick Stewart teaches Homer how to live with his newfound baldness. Justin Bieber tries to get into a talent show that Bart is playing piano in and they won’t admit him. Oh goodie, Justin Bieber plays himself tonight. At least Bart will fall in love again, because lord knows…
Quote of the Day
“Like the cleaning of a house, It Never Ends.” – Soap Opera Announcer
Quote of the Day
“Yeah, it’s a lazy, dog dangling afternoon.” – Homer Simpson
Friday Evening Cartoons
“My name is Homer, and I’m just here because the court made me come.” – Homer Simpson “Homer, with our help you’ll never touch a beer again.” – Reverend Lovejoy “Ahh!” – Homer Simpson I had a rather exhausting and awful week; but it is at an end now, which means I can sit on my ass and watch TV like a civilized person. In doing so, I noticed something I don’t think I’ve ever noticed before. At his first AA meeting, Homer bails out the window. At his next meeting, there’s this: That shot is only on screen very…
Reading Digest: Audio Visual Club Edition
“The hometown show’s the big one, Homer.” – Jimmy Chamberlin “Yeah, people who called you a weirdo in high school get to see what a successful freak you’ve become.” – James Iha “Hey, I wasn’t a weirdo. I was in the audio-visual club.” – D’arcy Wretzky “Really? Me too. But I got kicked out cause of my views on Vietnam . . . also, I was stealing projectors.” – Homer Simpson Happy Whacking Day everybody! This week we’ve got two links to those cool geeks at the A.V. Club, and while both take specific episodes (“Homer’s Enemy” and “Lady Bouvier’s…
Quote of the Day
“Take that snake! And you too! Snakes, snakes everywhere!” – Barney Gumble “Getting ready for Whacking Day?” – Lenny “What’s Whacking Day?” – Barney Gumble Happy Whacking Day!
Quote of the Day
“A Simpson on a t-shirt, I never thought I’d see the day.” – Marge Simpson Happy birthday James L. Brooks!
Quote of the Day
“What began as a traditional soccer riot has escalated into a city wide orgy of destruction. Reacting swiftly, Mayor Quimby has declared mob rule. So, for the next several years, it’s every family for itself.” – Kent Brockman “Excuse me, sir, I think you’ve got my TV. Sir?” – Ned Flanders
Behind Us Forever: Whiskey Business
“Your bowtie is just darling.” – Rene “Well, thanks. Yeah, it kinda draws the eye away from the old mug.” – Moe [Note: Apologies for not getting this up yesterday. I’m having grotesque technical problems at the spinoff site and reliable ratings numbers were delayed a day by NASCAR overrun anyway.] They don’t take long to get right into the shitty writing, do they? Immediately after showing us the 2009 Oscars on the TV, Homer says exactly that. Zombie Simpsons really doesn’t trust the audience to pay attention in the least, do they? Looks like we’re doing sad Moe this…
Quote of the Day
“Hurry, Moe, hurry! I’ve only got five minutes until the music store closes.” – Homer Simpson “Well, why don’t you go there first?” – Moe “Hey, do I tell you how to do your job?” – Homer Simpson “Sorry, Homer.” – Moe “You know, if you tip the glass there won’t be so much foam on top.” – Homer Simpson “Sorry, Homer.” – Moe Happy birthday Mike Reiss!
Quote of the Day
“And a bottle of aspirin, please.” – Marge Simpson “The aspirin is $24.95.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “$24.95!” – Marge Simpson “I lowered the price because an escaped mental patient tampered with the bottle.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon Happy 20th Anniversary to “Marge in Chains”! Original airdate 6 May 1993.
Sunday Preview: Whiskey Business
Moe is flying high after venture capitalists take a shine to his homemade whiskey, while Grampa, after injuring himself babysitting Bart, decides he would rather be looked after by his grandson than be at the nursing home. Also, Lisa voices her displeasure at a hologram of music legend Bleeding Gums Murphy, and Sonny Rollins (as himself) shows up to ask her to stop all that jazz about boycotting a record label. Again, we’ve got a lot going on at once tonight. For you betting folk, I put the over/under for Moe sobbing scenes at 3 1/2, and number of duets…
Quote of the Day
“I’m gonna make it all up to you. I’m gonna show you kids the time of your life. Get ready for two weeks at the happiest place on Earth, Tijuana!” – Krusty the Klown
Quote of the Day
“Can you let me have it for forty dollars?” – Martin Prince “Forty bucks? Forget it! You made me get off my stool for that?” – Comic Book Guy “It’s all I’ve got! I sold seeds, I visited my aunt in the nursing home, I fished a dime out of the sewer for God’s sake!” – Martin Prince Happy Birthday Russi Taylor!