“Prisoner 24601, I wore this for two years in a Viet Cong interment center. Never thought I’d see the old girl again. Still fits.” – Principal Skinner “Small world, huh?” – Herman “It is. It really, really is.” – Principal Skinner
Month: September 2015
Quote of the Day
“We studied traffic patterns and found that drivers move the fastest through yellow lights. So, now, we just have the red and yellow lights.” – Professor Frink “C’mon, stay yellow! Stay yellow! Man, I’m making record time! If only I had someplace to be.” – Lenny Happy birthday Gabor Csupo!
Quote of the Day
“Good evening, Edna, I know we were planning to see a film tonight, but instead I’m leaving town forever.” – Armin Tamzarian
Sunday Preview: Every Man’s Dream
Homer is diagnosed with narcolepsy — but instead of returning home with his prescription medication — he returns home drunk. He and Marge visit a marriage counselor and have a trial separation, during which Homer begins dating a 20-something.” Here we go, welcome to season 49. Oh wait, what’s this? Homer has another love interest and his marriage to Marge is in jeopardy, AND they separate?? AAANNNDDD There is a trendy guest star?????? I can see what went down in the writer’s room now: Writer 1: I have the perfect idea for the season opener. We have Homer and Marge break…
Quote of the Day
“In all the Animal Kingdom, no mother is more devoted than the blue jay. Valuing her eggs above even her own life, the mother bird bravely fights off such fearsome predators as the badger and the mongoose. Of course, one thing mother blue jay can’t defend against is a set of steel tongs.” – Troy McClure
Saturday Morning Cartoons
“This is what love costs a month?” – Homer Simpson “These are standard stable fees, Mr. Simpson. Plus I’m teaching your daughter riding, grooming, and, at no extra charge, pronunciation.” – Lady at The Grateful Gelding Stables “Father! You’ve made me the happiest girl who ever lived!” – Lisa Simpson NOTE: Sorry for no Reading Digest yesterday. I realize it’s not graduation season, but my advice to seniors in both high school and college is: never get a job. Bart was right, working is for chumps. I’m a big fan of the gleeful nihilism of Rick and Morty, the relentless contrarianism of South Park, the…
Quote of the Day
“Boy, that quiet engine sure makes conversation a lot easier.” – Marge Simpson “Yeah, it’s got a lot of other problems too.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“That doesn’t seem like a happy ending. That seems more like a detached tale of modern alienation.” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“My eyes, the goggles do nothing!” – Rainier Wolfcastle Happy 20th Anniversary to “Radioactive Man”! Original airdate 24 September 1995.
Quote of the Day
“I don’t think I’d be any kind of a father if you got Ds and I let you go to Kamp Krusty.” – Homer Simpson “But Dad!” – Bart Simpson “Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet, they’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” – Homer Simpson “17.” – Radio “D’oh!” – Homer Simpson “32.” – Radio “D’oh!” – Homer Simpson “5.” – Radio “D’oh.” – Homer Simpson “8.” – Radio “Woo-hoo!” – Homer Simpson “47.” – Radio “D’oh!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hi, Ned. Homer sends his apologies, but, um, there was some important work at the plant that only he could take care of.” – Marge Simpson” “We now return you to exciting fifteenth round action at the Canadian Football League draft.” – TV Announcer “And so, the Saskatchewan Rough Riders, who scored only four rouges all last season, Jack . . . ” – CFL Analyst
Quote of the Day
“Barney! Where’s my car?” – Homer Simpson “All I remember about the last two months is giving a guest lecture at Villanova. Or maybe it was a street corner?” – Barney Gumble
Quote of the Day
“Oh, honey, don’t eat that. Wouldn’t you rather have your sugar bag?” – Marge Simpson “I don’t deserve sugar.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Bart, in the split-second before he died, I bet Scratchy appreciated his birthday present. You see how this relates to us?” – Lisa Simpson “Hey, you want that once a year empty gesture? You got it, sis.” – Bart Simpson
Reading Digest: In Denial About Season 27 Edition
“Homer, I want you to look at this drawing Bart did.” – Marge Simpson “Oh, it’s beautiful! Oh, let’s put Bart’s beautiful drawing up on the fridge-” – Homer Simpson “Homer, stop! Would you please look at the drawing?” – Marge Simpson “Oh, alright . . . Ahh! Burn it! Send it to hell!” – Homer Simpson “I think we’re going to have to get Bart some help.” – Marge Simpson “Get it away.” – Homer Simpson Very short Reading Digest this week as pretty much everything tagged “Simpsons” on the internet was linked to FOX’s big marketing push for…
Quote of the Day
“Well, Homer, I guess you’re the winner by default.” – NASA Guy “De fault? Woo-hoo! The two sweetest words in the English language! De fault De fault!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Burns was rushed to a nearby hospital where he was pronounced dead. He was then transferred to a better hospital where doctors upgraded his condition to alive.” – Kent Brockman Happy 20th Anniversary to “Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)”! Original airdate: 17 September 1995.
Quote of the Day
“Hey, boyo, what’s so funny?” – Cameraman “Well, it’s . . . nah, you wouldn’t be interested. It’s too lowbrow.” – Bart Simpson “No, I’m quite lowbrow.” – Cameraman “Well, somebody just wrote a bawdy limerick on the men’s room wall.” – Bart Simpson “This I gotta see!” – Cameraman
Quote of the Day
“Look, my stomach really hurts.” – Bart Simpson “All I can give you are these chewable Prozac for kids. Your choice: Manic Depressive Mouse, or the Blue Bird of Unhappiness.” – Lunchlady Doris Happy birthday, Mike Reiss!
Quote of the Day
“Homer, you can’t punish the children just because you can’t come up with an idea.” – Marge Simpson “I don’t see why not. They’re my kids, I own them. . . . Okay, we own them.” – Homer Simpson