“Before I go to camp, I’ll need boosters for malaria, German measles, encephalitis, Hansen’s disease-” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, now I’m afraid what we have here is an advanced case of hypochondria. There’s only one known cure: a lollypop.” – Dr. Hibbert “Don’t patronize me, Doctor.” – Lisa Simpson
Month: July 2013
Quote of the Day
“I need something that’ll keep me awake, alert and reckless all night long.” – Homer Simpson “Well, Congress is racing back to Washington to outlaw these.” – General Store Guy “Sold!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“And, as we pass the collection plate, please give as though the person next to you were watching.” – Reverend Lovejoy
Quote of the Day
“They can’t seriously expect us to swallow that tripe!” – Lisa Simpson “Now, as a special treat courtesy of our friends at the meat council, please help yourselves to this tripe.” – Principal Skinner Happy birthday David S./X. Cohen
Reading Digest: Pre-San Diego Edition
“Lobster hat, fishnet speedo junior, wheelie shoes, invisible dog leash . . . well, I’m packed.” – Homer Simpson This week we’ve got a couple of links to a singing troupe that’s headed – at FOX’s expense – to sunny California next weekend for Comic Con. They’ve got two shows coming up, plus they’re performing at the convention itself. In addition to that, we’ve got several great pieces of non-musical fan art, plenty of usage and references, the ongoing saga of the Simpsons bracket, and a couple of great episode write ups. Enjoy. We Put The Spring In Springfield –…
Quote of the Day
“Operator, I’d like to place an order for my husband.” – Marge Simpson “Would he like to lose weight, stop smoking, learn the state capitals, master hostage negotiations . . .” – Subliminal Tape Operator “Hmm, hostage negotiations . . .” “Listen, Taboli, we’re ignoring all of your demands. What do you say to that?” – Hostage Negotiator Homer “Better give me the weight loss tape.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Robert, if released would you pose any threat to one Bart Simpson?” – Lawyer “Bart Simpson? The spirited little scamp who twice foiled my evil schemes and sent me to this dank, urine soaked hell hole?” – Sideshow Bob “Uh, we object to the term ‘urine soaked hell hole’ when you could’ve said ‘pee pee soaked heck hole’.” – Parole Officer “Cheerfully withdrawn.” – Sideshow Bob
Quote of the Day
“Tell you what, Simpson, I won’t fail you if you join one of those pee-wee teams outside the school.” – Gym Teacher “You mean those leagues where parents push their kids into vicious competition to compensate for their own failed dreams of glory?” – Lisa Simpson “Look, I don’t need this. I inhaled my favorite whistle this morning.” – Gym Teacher
Quote of the Day
“Willie, sometime over the holiday weekend, the beloved grade four gerbil, Superdude, lost his life. I need you to air out the classroom and give Superdude a proper burial.” – Principal Skinner “You’re lucky you’re getting a decent burial. Me own father got thrown in the bog.” – Groundskeeper Willie
Quote of the Day
“This is a map of nuclear sites around the country. As a safety inspector, I’m responsible for changing most of these light bulbs.” – Homer Simpson “Why are there so many burnt out ones?” – Lisa Simpson “Cause they won’t hire an assistant.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“And here comes Snowball II, this is the one we kept.” – Bart Simpson “Eww.” – Fourth Grade “We were gonna keep the gray one, but the mother ate her.” – Bart Simpson “Eww.” – Fourth Grade “Mrs. Krabappel, he’s traumatizing the children.” – Martin Prince “As usual, I agree with you, Martin. Bart, shut that off and take your seat immediately!” – Mrs. Krabappel “Oh, look, this is really cool. When I hit reverse, I can make ’em go back in!” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Springfield will have its first annual Do What You Feel Festival this Saturday, whenever you feel like showing up. It’ll be a welcome change from our annual Do As We Say Festival, started by German settlers in 1946.” – Kent Brockman
Reading Digest: Summer Orphans Edition
“Oh, the gentle caress of a summer breeze.” – Martin Prince With the Fourth falling on a Thursday this year, the internet has been low all week, so this is a pretty short Reading Digest. Two items, however, provide quite a few links. First, a German guy wrote a book praising the show for its long history of not berating the gays; second, a young hooligan in Illinois put up some Simpsons themed graffiti, and we have pictures. Neither is the world’s most earth shattering news, but it’s high summer, the day after the Fourth of July, and most sensible…
Quote of the Day
“Come on, Marge, I want to shake off the dust of this one horse town! I want to explore the world! I want to watch TV in a different time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic malls. I’m sick of eating hoagies. I want a grinder, a sub, a foot long hero! I want to live, Marge! Won’t you let me live? Won’t you please?” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I’m saying: you’re what’s wrong with America, Simpson. You coast through life, you do as little as possible, and you leech off decent, hardworking people, like me. If you lived in any other country in the world, you’d have starved to death long ago.” – Frank Grimes “He’s got you there, Dad.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Oh, Dad, I just spent the day with the most wonderful people.” – Lisa Simpson “Aw, that’s great, honey. You tell me everything you can before the commercial’s over.” – Homer Simpson Happy birthday Yeardley Smith!
Quote of the Day
“Okay, here’s how your lease breaks down: this is your down payment, then here’s your monthly, and there’s your weekly.” – Stan “And that’s it, right?” – Homer Simpson “Yup. Oh, then after your final monthly payment there’s the routine CBP or Crippling Balloon Payment.” – Stan “But that’s not for a while, right?” – Homer Simpson “Right.” – Stan “Sweet.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Milhouse, do you ever think about the people in those cars?” – Bart Simpson “I try not to. It makes it harder to spit on ’em.” – Milhouse van Houten