“But corporate sponsorship cheapens our nation’s treasures.” – Lisa Simpson “Actually, they’re Omnitouch’s treasure’s now. We bought em during the last budget crisis.” – Omnitouch Lady
Month: February 2015
Leonard Nimoy Boldly Goes
“Well, my work is done here.” – Leonard Nimoy “What do you mean, ‘Your work is done’? You didn’t do anything.” – Barney “Didn’t I?” – Leonard Nimoy The sad news today is that Leonard Nimoy, repeat Simpsons (and Futurama) guest voice, accomplished photographer, dispenser of vocal wisdom, bard of Bilbo, Shatner-putter-upper-with, and, of course, the one true Spock, died this morning. He was 83, and you can read his full obituary here. The best I can say about him is that he did what he told everyone else to do: lived long and prospered. In other news, there isn’t going…
Quote of the Day
“And with the prime suspect cleared and found completely innocent, we must now ask ourselves: who could possibly be as bloodthirsty as Waylon Smithers?” – Kent Brockman Happy birthday Bill Oakley!
Quote of the Day
“Uh, I need another extension on my mortgage payments.” – Homer Simpson “I understand that, Mr. Simpson, but according to our computer, your credit history is not good. It says here that you’ve been pre-declined for every major credit card. It also says that you once grabbed a dog by the hind legs and pushed him around like a vacuum cleaner.” – Bank of Springfield Guy “That was in the third grade!” – Homer Simpson “Yeah, well, it all goes on your permanent record.” – Bank of Springfield Guy
Quote of the Day
“Smithers, this beer isn’t working. I don’t feel any younger or funkier.” – C.M. Burns “I’ll switch to the table spoon, sir.” – Mr. Smithers
Quote of the Day
“Clean. Clean. Pistol. Uzi. Two kids posing as an adult. Oh, hey Homer.” – SNPP Guard
Quote of the Day
“Hello, brother, all’s well, I trust?” – Cecil Terwilliger “It most certainly is not! The workmen you’ve given me don’t know their asses from the hole in the ground they accidentally blew yesterday.” – Sideshow Bob
Quote of the Day
“Hey. Hey. I’m Kent Brockman, the clown, filling in for Krusty the Clown, who didn’t come in today. He is presumed dead or on vacation. Today’s top joke, it seems a local moron threw his clock out the window. We’ll tell you why, right after this.” – Kent Brockman
Quote of the Day
“All born in wedlock?” – Herb Powell “Yeah, though the boy was a close call.” – Homer Simpson
Reading Digest: Over the Gorge Edition
“I’m the king of the world! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo!” – Homer Simpson The first and best link we have this week is a fan made poster of Homer’s disastrous attempt to teach Bart a lesson. I cannot recommend it highly enough. After that there are a bunch of other links to great fan made stuff, including Legos and crayons. And after that, we’ve got the play moving to America’s wang, a whole website dedicated to Simpsons tattoos, idiotic donut marketing, and more. Enjoy. Cool Stuff: Official Mark Englert Simpsons Poster – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this high res poster…
Quote of the Day
“Take a knee, boys. Tomorrow is the biggest day of your lives: the Shelbyville game. So lights out at 7:30, and abstain from coffee, tea, and cola drinks. Make no mistake, they pack a wallop.” – C.M. Burns “Sure do, skip!” – Darryl Strawberry
Compare & Contrast: Surprise Nuclear Inspections
“The watchdog of public safety, is there any lower form of life?” – C.M. Burns It would be one thing if Zombie Simpsons merely repeated ideas and stories that had been done on The Simpsons. Given the enormous catalog of episodes, it’s certainly understandable that scenes and concepts would need to get recycled from time to time. Hell, that was understandable way back in the heyday of the show. For example, Season 2’s “Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish” has a great nuclear plant inspection, where we see gum used to seal a crack in the cooling…
Quote of the Day
“It’s too late to merely pay back the money, but as a sign of good faith to our Australian friends, we’d like to imprison Bart for five years.” – Evan Conover “That’s tough but fair. Boy, go with the man.” – Homer Simpson “No, no, no!” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Town Crier, I’d like to ask you a few questions. One, where’s the fife? And two, gimme the fife.” – Homer Simpson “Hey, stop! I’ve got nothing but respect for the office of Town Crier, but this is well outside your jurisdiction!” – Hollis Hurlbut
Quote of the Day
“It’s awful being a kid, no one listens to you.” – Lisa Simpson “It’s rotten being old, no one listens to you.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “I’m a white male, age 18-49, everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are.” – Homer Simpson
Behind Us Forever: My Fare Lady
“Chauffeur, seamstress, curator of large mammals?” – Marge Simpson “Marge, have you seen my lunch box?” – Homer Simpson “Oh, I see.” – Marge Simpson In this episode, Moe leaves Homer in charge of the bar. Meanwhile, Marge gets a job as a Not Lyft driver. Then Moe, his bar wrecked, gets a job at the nuclear plant. Then Homer gets a different job at the nuclear plant. Then it ends. On the plus side, they used that awesome pixel opening that hit the internet a couple of weeks back. Pretty much all downhill from there, though. – Really was…
Quote of the Day
“I’m a star again. I don’t know how to thank you kids.” – Krusty the Klown “That’s alright, Krusty.” – Bart Simpson “We’re getting fifty percent of the t-shirt sales.” – Lisa Simpson “What? That’s the sweetest plum!” – Krusty the Klown Happy (one day belated) birthday, Matt Groening!
Sunday Preview: My Fare Lady
Fed up with the thankless task of chauffeuring her children around, Marge works for a transportation app service. Homer bankrupts Moe, with Moe being forced to work as a janitor at the power plant. Oh boy. A zombisode on the topical issue of taxi apps. Also I would like to point out that almost nine years ago to the date they already spun a title off of “My Fair Lady” with the 2006 blockbuster “My Fair Laddy” But now I am just complaining for the sake of it. Also Christopher Lloyd and Rich Sommer are guest stars. Rich is on…
Quote of the Day
“Okay, kids, Otto’s in charge! Remember, Otto, we’re trusting you with our greatest natural resource, the school bus.” – Principal Skinner
Quote of the Day
“I’m going to cancel.” – Patty Bouvier “No, you’re not.” – Selma Bouvier “We already have plans for tomorrow night.” – Patty Bouvier “Patty, your first date in twenty-five years is a little more important than playing hearts with mother.” – Selma Bouvier