“Alright, I’ll be back in the morning to pick up Stampy.” – Mr. Blackheart “Here’s the keys.” – Homer Simpson “Elephants don’t have keys.” – Mr. Blackheart “I’ll just keep these, then.” – Homer Simpson
Month: March 2015
Quote of the Day
“Well, you sure don’t look twenty-five, but your unlaminated, out-of-state driver’s license is proof enough for me.” – Knoxville Bonded Courier Service Guy
Quote of the Day
“Next on Exploitation Theater: Blacula, followed by Blackenstein, and the Blunchblack of Blotre Blame.” – TV Announcer “Ooh, funky.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Look, Mom, I finished my patch! It depicts the two greatest musical influences in my life. On the left is Mr. Largo, my music teacher at school. He taught me that even the noblest concerto can be drained of its beauty and soul. And on the right is Bleeding Gums Murphy. He taught me that music is like a fire in your belly that comes out of your mouth, so you better stick an instrument in front of it.” – Lisa Simpson Happy birthday, Alf Clausen!
Reading Digest: The Simpsons Will Outlive Us All Edition
“Hey, Bart, according to this magazine, in another million years man’ll have an extra finger.” – Lisa Simpson “Five fingers? Eww, freakshow.” – Bart Simpson For obvious reasons, this site takes the position that The Simpsons was and is the greatest show ever. (Zombie Simpsons naturally excluded.) Of course, plenty of people disagree about that for one reason or another, but the nice thing about being a Simpsons advocate is that I get to cite examples, lots of them. For instance, this week we have a link to an article about the best sitcom of the 1990s, the author presumes that The…
Quote of the Day
“First question: if I could be any animal, I would be a) a carpenter ant, b) a nurse shark, or c) a lawyer bird.” – Mrs. Krabappel Happy birthday, George Meyer!
Quote of the Day
“This is KUDD, 570 AM, hey, don’t touch that dial, you’ve got kud on it!” – KUDD DJ
Quote of the Day
“Ooh, look at this one: The Hammer of Thor. It will send your pins to . . . Valhalla? Lisa?” – Homer Simpson “Valhalla is where Vikings go when they die.” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, that’s some ball.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Selma, Jub-Jub is fantastic! He’s everywhere you wanna be!” – Troy McClure Sorry this went up late.
Quote of the Day
“By the way, old timer, I do wills. Why don’t I just give you this pen with my phone number on it? It looks just like a cigar! Isn’t that something?” – Lionel Hutz
Quote of the Day
“Slow down, Bart, my legs don’t know how to be as long as yours.” – Ralph Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“The dump?” – Marge Simpson “We’re gonna get rid of the Christmas tree, starting to turn brown.” – Homer Simpson
Reading Digest: Moar Sam Simon Tributes
Sam Simon was so widely beloved that there was no way to sort through even a part of people’s tributes to him last week. Now that the noise has settled down and big media outlets are on to the next thing, this week we’ve got a ton more great stuff about the man. There’s other stuff too, of course, but mostly it’s Simon. Enjoy. My buddy Sam Simon. – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this long and loving encomium for Simon by a writer who met him over poker. It’s long, but it’s a great read. Someone built all of…
Quote of the Day
“Oh, hi, Bart, how much this time?” – Ned Flanders “Dude, you got me all wrong.” – Bart Simpson “Yeah. Just answer me this: are you holding your mooching sack?” – Ned Flanders “My little one.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“A soy based snack will calm me down.” – Lisa Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “Lisa’s Wedding”! Original airdate 19 March 1995.
Compare & Contrast: Vintage Duff Commercials
“Only Duff fills your Q zone with pure beer goodness. So drink up, and up, and up!” – Cartoon Doctor “Duff Beer, proud sponsors of Amos ‘n Andy!” – Narrator It’s always nice when Zombie Simpsons provides a wealth of options for Compare & Contrast. For “Waiting for Duffman”, I could’ve gone with Homer quitting drinking like he did in “Duffless”. Of course, there he quits because Marge thinks he might have a problem and we see just how awful and ubiquitous beer advertising really is, whereas here he gets a fake microchip implanted in him and screams a lot.…
Quote of the Day
“Look, Dad, I don’t know what’s going on, but once you gave me some advice that might help.” – Bart Simpson “I gave you advice? Get out of here.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Homer, that’s our wedding photo.” – Marge Simpson “Marge, quit living in the past.” – Homer Simpson
Behind Us Forever: Waiting for Duffman
“Hey, it’s Duffman, a guy in a costume who creates awareness of Duff!” – Lenny I was just getting ready to watch last week’s Zombie Simpsons when news of Sam Simon’s death broke. I guess Wiggum got a jetpack or something. This week, however, there was nothing to do but plow through it, as Homer got yet another job, this time as Duffman, and quit drinking at the same time. – Couch gag wasn’t too bad, right up until Homer’s severed head. Which was weird. – This bicycle parade just keeps going. And it’s filled with that really formulaic “setup-beat-punchline”…
Quote of the Day
“Look at me, I’m the Prime Minister of Ireland!” – Homer Simpson