When Duffman undergoes hip replacement surgery and retires, the company sets up a reality show competition to find his replacement. Homer wins the competition, and because the job requires him to stay sober, he learns that beer isn’t as necessary as he thought to have a good time. Oh boy, temporarily sober Homer wins a reality show. Apparently the guest voice is Cat Deeley, who is the host of an actual FOX reality show, according to my wife. I am not planning on watching this crap tonight, as watching the preview clips was awful enough, but I am going to…
Month: March 2015
Quote of the Day
“Hey, since you were a no show at all the big moments of my life, you owe me years of back presents: Christmases, birthdays, Easters, Kwanzaas, good report cards. Hmm, seventy-five bucks a pop, plus interest and penalties . . . you owe me, twenty-two thousand dollars.” – Bart Simpson Happy birthday David Silverman!
Quote of the Day
“And now the parade has entered Bumtown! Oh, it’s all just so exciting, Dave!” – Suzanne Somers “This certainly seems to be a poorly planned parade route.” – Not David Brinkley
Sam Simon Roundup
Did you know he drew this? I didn’t know that. “You looked so peaceful lying there.” – Marge Simpson “There’ll be plenty of time for that! I got tons of important stuff to do!” – Homer Simpson This post was originally going to go up Tuesday, then Wednesday, then yesterday, but I kept finding more great Simon articles to add. Regular Reading Digest will be back next week, including all the non-Simon stuff I missed from this week. Several of these are from @DailySimpsons and @rubbrcatsimp, both of which are great follows if you want news and quotes from the…
Quote of the Day
“So, what will it be, Mr. Simpson? Your usual bucket of ice cream covered with miniature pies?” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Quote of the Day
“Mr. Teeny needs a refill of his nicotine gum.” – Krusty the Klown
Quote of the Day
“How often do you brush, Ralph?” – Dr. Wolf “Three times a day, sir.” – Ralph Wiggum “Why must you turn my office into a house of lies?” – Dr. Wolf
Quote of the Day
“Did you see their faces, Smithers?” – C.M. Burns “Sir, you’re my god of generosity.” – Mr. Smithers Rest in peace, Sam Simon.
So Long, Sam Simon
“You’re a comedy writer? My God, you’re so old!” – Roger Meyers Jr. “I want my check!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Haha, you’re a writer alright!” – Roger Meyers Jr. Sam Simon, one of the three godfathers of The Simpsons, died today at the age of 59. It was almost exactly two years ago that he announced that he had been diagnosed with cancer, and from that moment until his death today he handled it with grace, generosity, and, befitting Simon, a lot of humor. They gave him three-to-six months; he lasted nearly two and a half years, laughing about it…
Quote of the Day
“Class, in order to explain why your hormones will soon make you an easy target for every smooth talking Lothario with his own car and tight jeans, I will now show a short, sex education film. Ezekiel and Ishmael, in accordance with your parents’ wishes, you may step out into the hall and pray for our souls.” – Mrs. Krabappel
Sunday Preview: Sky Police
Chief Wiggum is mistakenly delivered a military jet pack, which he gleefully accepts and uses in order to fight crime. But when the jet pack crashes into the church, the congregation, led by Marge, must resort to gambling and counting cards in order to collect money to repair the church. If Gerry Cooney doesn’t have a cameo in this I am going to be upset. I’d say “This could be a whole new beginning for Springfield”, but I’d be a bald-faced liar.
Quote of the Day
“You look pretty successful.” – Homer Simpson “Thanks. I play a millionaire at parties . . . at least, I’d like to.” – Male Simpson Relative
Quote of the Day
“Bart, shouldn’t you be in class?” – Lisa Simpson “I am. It’s a little something I whipped up in shop, mostly latex.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Lenny, I need to leave early. Cover for me, will you?” – Homer Simpson “Hey, sure thing, Homer.” – Lenny
Reading Digest: Snowmen Edition
“Check it out, boy, it’s like looking into a living snow mirror.” – Homer Simpson Two different people in St. Louis decided to use this winter to make some snow Simpsons. One is just Homer, but the other is the whole family and the couch. It’s great. In other impressive fan feats this week, there’s glow in the dark zombie Simpsons, a zombie Springfield, a grammar rodeo t-shirt, and money. In addition to that we’ve got some excellent usage, lots of Nimoy links, reviews of old episodes and Season 7, and someone who literally agrees with us. Enjoy. Zombie Simpsons…
Compare & Contrast: Lisa Goes to SNPP
“Lisa, you’ll have a fine time at the plant with Dad. You’ve been interested in nuclear power for years.” – Marge Simpson “I’ve signed numerous petitions to shut down that plant!” – Lisa Simpson “Well, there you go.” – Marge Simpson Per Wikipedia, Take Your Daughter to Work Day started in 1993, but: The program was officially expanded in 2003 to include boys; however, most companies that participated in the program had, since the beginning, allowed both boys and girls to participate, usually renaming it “Take Our Children to Work Day” or an equivalent.[5] In 1996, The Simpsons invoked it as…
Quote of the Day
“The metric system is the tool of the Devil! My car gets forty rods to the hogshead, and that’s the way I likes it!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “A Star Is Burns”! Original airdate: 5 March 1995.
Yes, 1980s Teevee Was That Bad
“Alright! It’s time for ABC’s TGIF lineup!” – Lisa Simpson “Lis, when you get a little older, you’ll learn that Friday’s just another day between NBC’s Must See Thursday and CBS’s Saturday night craporama.” – Bart Simpson This morning, Al Jean retweeted this horrifying YouTube copy of ABC’s network promo for the 1982-83 season: It’s eighteen minutes long and isn’t worth watching in full, but starting at the 7:15 mark you can see three of their new comedies. Two are family sitcoms. The first, “Star of the Family”, starred Brian Dennehy as the dad. Here’s the IMDb summary: Fire Captain…
Quote of the Day
“I told you we should’ve served cake instead of oysters!” – Mr. Prince “I’m ruined!” – Martin Prince “Ha-haaauh.” – Nelson Muntz
Quote of the Day
“He’s gradually getting away, Chief.” – Skinny Boy “Ah, let him go. I have a feeling we’ll meet again, each and every week, always in more sexy and exciting ways.” – Wiggum P.I.