“Hey, Homer, I can’t find the safety goggles for the power saw.” – Bart Simpson “If stuff starts flying, just turn your head.” – Homer Simpson “Oh, check.” – Bart Simpson
Month: November 2015
Quote of the Day
“I think I could actually hear the air being torn, sir.” – Mr. Smithers “Oh, shut up.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“This is great! Not only am I not learning, I’m forgetting stuff I used to know!” – Milhouse van Houten Happy birthday Pamela Hayden!
Quote of the Day
“I don’t know Homer Simpson, I never met Homer Simpson, or had any contact with him, but . . . I’m sorry, I can’t go on” – Crying Woman “That’s okay, your tears say more than real evidence ever could.” – Talk Show Host
The Simpsons vs. Thanksgiving
“I would say something comforting, but, you know, my voice.” – Jacqueline Bouvier “Bart vs. Thanksgiving” was originally broadcast twenty-five Thanksgivings ago (22 Nov 1990, to be exact). It’s the first episode written by George Meyer (just the 20th episode overall, and the 7th of Season 2), and it’s a great showcase of just how quickly the show began firing on all cylinders. The Thanksgiving episode has everything from blink-and-you’ll-miss-them background gags to gleefully cruel satire of sacred American institutions and self mocking meta-jokes. Underlying everything is the show’s cardinal grace: a family that loves each other even while they…
Quote of the Day
“Look at that hunk of junk.” – Bart Simpson “You’re ignorant! That’s the Wright Brothers’ plane! At Kitty Hawk in 1903, Charles Lindbergh flew it fifteen miles on a thimbleful of corn oil! Single handedly won us the Civil War, it did.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “So, how do you know so much about American history?” – Bart Simpson “I pieced it together, mostly from sugar packets.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “Sideshow Bob’s Last Gleaming”! Original airdate 26 November 1995.
Quote of the Day
“And the Silverdome, now ablaze with flashbulbs as Hooray for Everything leaves the field. Of course, a stadium’s much too big for flash pictures to work, but nobody seems to care!” – Football Announcer
Behind Us Forever: Lisa With an S
“Dad, why are you singing?” – Lisa Simpson “Tell a lie! Tell a lie!” – Homer’s Brain “Because I have a small roll in a Broadway musical. It’s not much, but it’s a start.” – Homer Simpson “Bravo.” – Homer’s Brain I gave up on this episode halfway through (read more and you’ll see why). The basic idea is that Lisa wants to go to band camp, but Homer loses money in a poker game to Moe’s elderly, ex-Broadway star girlfriend. (I am not making that up.) Said ex-Broadway star comes over to the house and then takes Lisa on…
Quote of the Day
“We’d be doing our part for the environment! Plus, we’d get to clean up all those cute animals!” – Lisa Simpson “Honey, we don’t need to drive four hundred miles to clean animals. You can stay right here and give the dog a bath, or trim the cat’s nails.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Technocrats are learning a lesson in humility tonight, as angel supporters lay waste to Springfield’s scientific institutions.” – Kent Brockman
Sunday Preview: Lisa With An “S”
When Homer loses $5,000 at a poker game with Broadway legend Laney Fontaine, the only way he is able to settle the bet is if he loans Lisa to Laney for a month. Then, Laney turns Lisa into a show biz kid and Marge and Homer fear they made a mistake letting her go. So they head to New York to get her back. Well this is probably some record for laziness on my part. The episode airs 15 minutes from now and I am just putting this up. Not that it really matters. Anyway for tonight, Homer basically sells his kid for a month to clear gambling debts, it’s a…
Quote of the Day
“You know, I run a small academy for lobsters like this one. We stress tough love, daily chores, and the like.” – Captain McAllister “No! We’re not sending the lobster away to some snobby boarding school.” – Marge Simpson “Yargh, I understand. It’s hard to let go. Tell me this, then:, do you have any spare change?” – Captain McAllister
Quote of the Day
“But you can’t leave! We’re scamming an old lady at my house and I need a place to hide out.” – Homer Simpson “Sorry, Homer, I’ve been planning this vacation for years. I’m finally gonna see Easter Island.” – Moe “Oh, right, with the giant heads.” – Homer Simpson “With the what now?” – Moe
Quote of the Day
“Morris, is what this man’s saying true?” – Not Shelley Long “Well, it’s hard to say. He may have come up with the recipe, but I came up with the idea of charging $6.95 for it.” – Moe
Quote of the Day
“This is my room. This is my dresser. It’s where I keep my shirts when I’m not wearing ’em.” – Homer Simpson “Oh, yes, right in the drawers.” – Mona Simpson “You remembered.” – Homer Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “Mother Simpson”! Original airdate 19 November 1995.
Quote of the Day
“You’re lucky, you only joined the Junior Campers. I got a dirty word shaved in the back of my head.” – Milhouse van Houten “What is it with you kids and that word? I’m going to shave you bald, young man, until you learn that hair is not a right, it’s a privilege.” – Principal Skinner
Quote of the Day
“Smithers, there’s something a bit odd about young Larry. I can’t quite put my finger on it.” – C.M. Burns “Well, he is a bit rough around the edges, sir. One might blame his truly heroic intake of cocktails.” – Mr. Smithers
Quote of the Day
“Way to go, Homer!” – Carl “You’re number one, Homer!” – Lenny “But this was a contest for children!” – Frank Grimes “Yeah, and Homer beat their brains out.” – Lenny Happy birthday, John Swartzwelder!
Quote of the Day
“What the heck is your middle name, anyway?” – Bart Simpson “You know, I have no idea. Hey, Dad, what does the J stand for?” – Homer Simpson “How should I know? It was your mother’s job to name you and love you and such. I was mainly in it for the spanking.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Sorry, Rosarita, I gotta get to my birthday party.” – Bart Simpson “Farewell, senor Bart.” – Rosarita Happy birthday, Maggie Roswell!