“What religion are you?” – Bart Simpson “You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don’t work out in real life, uh . . . Christianity.” – Homer Simpson
Month: March 2013
Quote of the Day
“Whoa, where’s your helmet, son?” – Soapbox Derby Racing Official “Helmets are for wusses, sir.” – Bart Simpson “No, I don’t think I can let you go without a safety helmet.” – Soapbox Derby Official “This is my son, and if he doesn’t want to wear one, you can’t make him.” – Homer Simpson “Okay, fine, I want to get out of here sometime today.” – Soapbox Derby Official
Reading Digest: President Wolfcastle Edition
“Welcome back to Before They Were Famous. We all know Ranier Wolfcastle as the star of the blockbuster McBain movies, but here’s his first appearance in a commercial in his native Austria.” – Before They Were Famous Host “Mein bratwurst has a first name, it’s F-R-I-T-Z. Mine bratwurst has a second name it’s S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-F-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N.” – Ranier Wolfcastle We’ve got two links about President Schwarzenegger in the movie this week. Those were some of the best parts, but to this day it remains a mark of how timidly they made the thing that they didn’t have him named President Wolfcastle. Did…
Quote of the Day
“Muntz, Nelson, you’re failing history, geography and math, but you’re doing quite well in home ec.” – Principal Skinner “Hey, keep it down, man.” – Nelson Muntz
Quote of the Day
♫“The nanny we want is kindly and sage . . .” – Lisa Simpson “And one who will work for minimum wage.”♫ – Homer Simpson Happy birthday Alf Clausen!
Quote of the Day
“Homer, please don’t make me choose between my man and my God, because you just can’t win.” – Marge Simpson “There you go again, always taking someone else’s side: Flanders, the water department, God.” – Homer Simpson Happy birthday George Meyer!
Quote of the Day
“Oh, it’s a miracle no one was hurt.” – Principal Skinner “I stand on my record: fifteen crashes and not a single fatality.” – Otto
Quote of the Day
“Uh-oh, it’s the fe-mailman.” – Bart Simpson “Fe-mail carrier, Bart.” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hey, Martin.” – Bart Simpson “Bart? This is the first time anyone has ever sat next to me since I successfully lobbied to have the school day extended by twenty minutes.” – Martin Prince
Quote of the Day
“Roger Meyers senior, the gentle genius behind Itchy and Scratchy, loved and cared about almost all the peoples of the world. And he, in return, was beloved by the world, except in 1938 when he was criticized for his controversial cartoon Nazi Supermen Are Our Superiors.” – Roger Meyers Story Narrator
Reading Digest: Great (And Not) Songs Edition
“Singing is the lowest form of communication.” – Homer Simpson “Homer, you sing all the time.” – Marge Simpson “No, I don’t. I hate to rhyme.” – Homer Simpson The first item this week isn’t even a link, it’s just a cute dog sent in by reader David: I just got a new French bulldog puppy not too long ago and of course named her “Beatrice Simmons” after my 2nd favorite episode next to “Lisa’s Substitute”. Aww: I bet Audrey Meadows would love that. (Good work, David.) In terms of regular stuff this week, we’ve got musical entertainment all over…
Quote of the Day
“Marge, we’re going to that restaurant.” – Homer Simpson “But I think I’m allergic to seafood. The last time I ate shrimp my throat closed up and I went into convulsions.” – Marge Simpson “Mmmm, shrimp.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Uh, sorry, you’ve got to be a pilot to drink in here.” – The Little Black Box Bartender “But I am a pilot.” – Homer Simpson “Where’s your uniform?” – The Little Black Box Bartender “Um, I stowed it safely in the overhead compartment.” – Homer Simpson “Well, you talk the talk. Here’s a loaner.” – The Little Black Box Bartender
Quote of the Day
“Any other questions?” – Box Factory Manager “When will we be able to see a finished box, sir?” – Martin Prince “We don’t assemble them here. That’s done in Flint, Michigan.” – Box Factory Guy
Quote of the Day
“Son, you’ve got to marry that girl.” – Abe Simpson “Because it’s the honorable thing to do?” – Homer Simpson “No! Because you’ll never do any better.” – Abe Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Don’t be scared, Dad. It’s not so hard taking care of us.” – Lisa Simpson “Lisa, I’m not scared. I think it’s a great chance to spend some time with you kids. Your mother always gets to be alone with you, and now it’s my turn. . . . Does the time always drag like this?” – Homer Simpson
Sunday Preview: Dark Knight Court
In the episode, Bart is falsely accused of pulling an Easter prank involving the school marching band and stuffing rotten eggs in the brass section’s horns, and Lisa must step in as his attorney to defend her brother. Meanwhile, Mr. Burns attempts to fulfill his lifelong dream of becoming a superhero, Fruit Bat Man. Ok, I would be fine with the prank, and I can look the other way that Bart isn’t actually the culprit and is still being blamed, although I imagine it will be a scene filled with sympathy horns. I could even pretend to stomach the inevitable…
Quote of the Day
“What was I laughing at, now? Oh, yes, that crippled Irishman.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“Forbes magazine called it the blunder of the century. Little overblown, don’t you think? What about New Coke?” – Herb Powell “Hey, I invented that!” – Bum
Reading Digest: Sam Simon Rocks His Cancer Edition
“Now, a little death anxiety is normal. You can expect to go through five stages. The first is denial.” – Dr. Hibbert “No way, because I’m not dying!” – Homer Simpson “Second is anger.” – Dr. Hibbert “Why you little!” – Homer Simpson “After that comes fear.” – Dr. Hibbert “What’s after fear? What’s after fear?” – Homer Simpson “Bargaining.” – Dr. Hibbert “Doc, you gotta get me out of this. I’ll make it worth your while.” – Homer Simpson “Finally, acceptance.” – Dr. Hibbert “Well, we all gotta go some time.” – Homer Simpson “Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds…