“At Moe’s, we serve good, old-fashioned home cooking deep fried to perfection.” – TV Announcer (Sorry for the late quote.)
Month: April 2014
Quote of the Day
“Doc, I heard a snap.” – Lance Murdock “I’m afraid the bone’s broken. Well, that’s all of them.” – Dr. Hibbert
Behind Us Forever: What to Expect When Bart’s Expecting
“Gotcha! It’s April Fool’s for two more minutes.” – Homer Simpson “Dad, it’s May 16th.” – Bart Simpson “You were in that coma for seven weeks.” – Lisa Simpson This week’s pile of horseshit starts with Bart’s chalkboard saying “You Can’t Play April Fool’s Jokes on April 27th”, which is their way of telling the audience that even they recognized this one as a wretched and unwatchable entry. Homer and Bart serenade a horse in a cheap, wannabe Les Miserables parody, but that’s after Bart gets a bunch of people pregnant with voodoo, which was itself after they fell back on referencing…
Quote of the Day
“They’re going to eat this up at show and tell.” – Bart Simpson “I’m not sure if I’m comfortable with the idea of your classmates laughing at our family’s private moments. How would you like it if twenty years from now people were laughing at things you did?” – Marge Simpson “Not likely.” – Bart Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “Sweet Seymour Skinner’s Baadasssss Song”! Original airdate 28 April 1994.
Sunday Preview: What To Expect When Bart’s Expecting
Bart can’t stand art class. So he makes a voodoo doll of his art teacher. But when his spell makes her pregnant instead, he becomes a savior to Springfield couples trying to conceive. Then, he’s kidnapped to help conceive a thoroughbred race horse. Cool. I was hoping there would be some voodoo this season. I guess I am slightly curious to find out what kind of spell Bart was attempting that would backfire and create life. Only slightly though – only slightly.
Quote of the Day
“Your character provides the comic relief, like, oh, Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I can’t believe I’m spending my Saturday picking up garbage. I mean, half these bottles ain’t even mine!” – Lenny
Reading Digest: Easter Disappointment Edition
“And here, out of the mists of history, the legendary Esquilax, a horse with the head of a rabbit, and the body of a rabbit. . . . Ooh, it’s galloping away!” – Chief Wiggum The Easter update for Tapped Out has been live for a little less than two weeks, and the complaints are rolling in. We’ve got three links this week about how the Easter update hasn’t been the greatest, which, having recently re-installed the game, I agree with. I realize they have to keep releasing updates to keep people who’ve maxed out their levels interested, but some of these…
Quote of the Day
“Hey, you okay, Grimey?” – Homer Simpson “I’m better than okay. I’m Homer Simpson!” – Frank Grimes “Heh, you wish.” – Homer Simpson Happy birthday Hank Azaria!
Quote of the Day
“Ha-ha! Your mom’s a jailbird.” – Nelson Muntz “So’s yours.” – Bart Simpson “Oh, yeah. Let’s play.” – Nelson Muntz
Quote of the Day
“Oh, Homie, aren’t they adorable?” – Marge Simpson “Yes. We’ve waited many years, but the good Lord has finally blessed us with a real family.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“If I were a truant boy out for a good time, I’d be right here: the Springfield Natural History Museum. You’re mine, Simpson.” – Principal Skinner
Quote of the Day
“Hey, the government don’t control the sky! What if you lived in a balloon?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “That’s it!” – Lisa Simpson “Did you hear that, Mom? She’s as dumb as me!” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Akira, my good man, I’d like two sharks, an octopus, and an eel.” – Bart Simpson “Very good.” – Akira “Do you have any giant squid? The kind that drags men to their deaths?” – Bart Simpson “Not today.” – Akira Happy birthday George Takei!
Quote of the Day
“Two hundred and thirty-nine pounds! Oh, I’m a blimp. Why are all the good things so tasty?” – Homer Simpson
Reading Digest: I Am Smoten Edition
“Sometimes I think God is teasing me, just like he teased Moses in the desert.” – Homer Simpson Apologies for missing two consecutive weeks of Compare & Contrasts, but for the second straight week the eyetee gods decided to smite the hell out of me. Chillingly, both incidents started on Tuesday and weren’t totally cleaned up until Thursday, which means I will be walking on eggshells until at least next Wednesday. (Also, do not ever do business with Network Solutions “a web.com company”. They are incompetent, sleazy, hugely overpriced, use phrases like “part of our vertical” without irony or embarrassment,…
Quote of the Day
“Maybe it’s time you joined the exciting field of monorail conducting by enrolling at the Lanley Institute.” – Lyle Lanley “Actual institute may not match photo.” – TV Announcer Happy birthday Conan O’Brien!
Quote of the Day
“I don’t know how you can all just lay around the house on a nice day like this. When was the last time we went for a good, old fashioned family walk?” – Marge Simpson “Oh, we stopped those when the kids said I was too fat to carry.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Aw, geez, this looks bad. Better turn on the old Wiggum charm.” – Chief Wiggum “Pervert!” – Helen Lovejoy “Oh, boy, that sounded bad.” – Chief Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“I’m sorry I spanked your boy, Homer.” – Bush the Elder “Woo-hoo! In your face, Bush! Now apologize for the tax hike.” – Homer Simpson