“Dad, it’s barbaric. How does killing a deer make you more of a man?” – Lisa Simpson “It just does. Name me one gay Indian.” – Homer Simpsonee
Year: 2014
Reading Digest: Xi’an Bart Edition
“Look at how disciplined they are. They’re just like the terra-cotta warriors of Xi’an.” – Lisa Simpson “They sure are.” – Homer Simpson First off, apologies for no Compare & Contrast this week. I’ve got an unfinished draft that I promise I will finish next week, but this week my stupid real job got in the way. For links this week, we’ve got a terra-cotta Bart Simpson, a Bonestorm blanket, some excellent references, a teaser for a Weinstein interview, a couple of lists, quite a bit of YouTube, and a chance to win a copy of the Mr. Burns play.…
Quote of the Day
“You know what? I’m going to vote no on 24.” – Marge Simpson “Mom, you’re the greatest! Can I have this liquorice?” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I won’t hear of it, Moe, you’re a fabulous catch.” – Homer Simpson “Oh, yeah, well, how come I ain’t fending off movie starlets with a pointy stick?” – Moe “Oh, it’s probably due to your ugliness. But that doesn’t mean we can’t find you a woman. Come on, we’re going to the darkest bar in town!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I’m the only single girl left in the family. . . . Well, I guess it could be worse.” – Patty Bouvier
Quote of the Day
“What the hell was that? Oh, I probably shouldn’t have eaten that packet of powdered gravy I found in the parking lot.” – Homer Simpson
Behind Us Forever: I Won’t Be Home For Christmas
“Hey, I thought Krusty was Jewish.” – Lisa Simpson “Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.” – Bart Simpson According to IMDb, this is the first whole episode Al Jean’s written in a long time. Sadly, it didn’t seem to matter. Homer goes on one zany little escapade after another, there’s plenty of expository nonsense, several musical montages that seem designed to do nothing more than eat clock (efforts at which fell so short that they added a preview of the next episode to help fill all twenty of their contractually obligated…
Quote of the Day
“Hello, children, and welcome to Springfield Gorge!” – Park Ranger “Wow!” – Bart Simpson “Man, this thing’s pretty gnarly. I bet you could throw a dead body in there and no one’d ever find it.” – Otto
Sunday Preview: I Won’t Be Home For Christmas
It looks like Homer won’t be home for Christmas after he stays too long at Moe’s Tavern on Christmas Eve and an irate Marge tells him not to return to their house, so he’s left to wander alone around Springfield and lament the effects of Christmas spirits. Marge gets mad because Homer is drinking, Homer feels bad, Homer finds some way to convince Marge to again blind herself to his functional alcoholism. One could make a substantial list of episodes that follow this plot structure. However one could also spend the rest of his Sunday playing video games instead, and just be…
Quote of the Day
“Marge, I had a lot of calls about you. Customers love your no pressure approach.” – Lionel Hutz “Well, like we say, ‘The right house, for the right person’.” – Marge Simpson “Listen, it’s time I let you in on a little secret, Marge. The right house is the house that’s for sale. The right person, is anyone.” – Lionel Hutz
Quote of the Day
“But if I die during the operation, will you do one thing for me?” – Homer Simpson “Oh, anything, sweetheart.” – Marge Simpson “Blow up the hospital.” – Homer Simpson “Hm, well, I said I’d do it, so I guess I’ll have to.” – Marge Simpson
Reading Digest: RIP, Real Life Bumblebee Man
“Dos huevos, por favor. Oh, que lastima.” – Bumblebee Man “I gotta steal that bit.” – Krusty the Klown Late last week, it was announced that Chesperito, a/k/a Roberto Gómez Bolaños, a/k/a the inspiration for Bumblebee Man had died at the age of 85. Reader Alex from Chile, writes in: He and his characters were loved in all Latin America and it’s easy to compare his shows rise and fall with the Simpsons, being the 70s the golden years of “El Chavo del Ocho” and “El Chapulin Colorado” and then from the 80s until now having nothing but the zombification of…
Quote of the Day
“Attention workers, we have completed our evaluation of the plant. We regret to announce the following lay-offs, which I will read in alphabetical order: Simpson, Homer. That is all.” – Horst
Quote of the Day
“Sir, uh, hello, sir? Yes, you look like a man who needs help satisfying his wife.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Dad, first you gave me life, now you’ve given me a home for my family. I’d be honored if you came to live with us.” – Homer Simpson “Thank you.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “So, how long before you shipped Grampa off to the old folks home?” – Bart Simpson “About three weeks.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I’m looking for something in an after dinner burrito.” – Homer Simpson “You’ll have it in forty-five seconds, sir.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Quote of the Day
“You can’t keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once and move on.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Well, sir, treason season started early this year as a nuclear sub was hijacked by local man Homer Simpson.” – Kent Brockman “Oh, my God!” – Marge Simpson “I told him that photo would come back to haunt him.” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I have soy milk. The doctor says the real kind could kill me.” – Milhouse van Houten Happy (one day belated) birthday, Pamela Hayden!
Quote of the Day
“Ah, for the days when aviation was a gentlemen’s pursuit. Back before every Joe Sweatsock could wedge himself behind a lunch tray and jet off to Raleigh-Durham.” – Sideshow Bob “Are you getting lots of bugs in your mouth too?” – Bart Simpson “Yes.” – Sideshow Bob