“Yo, Dad, can I have a sip of your beer?” – Bart Simpson “Now, son, you don’t want to drink beer. That’s for Daddys and kids with fake I.D.s.” – Homer Simpson
Month: June 2017
Quote of the Day
“I’m sorry, Homer doesn’t mean to be rude. He’s just a very complicated man.” – Marge Simpson “Wrong!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“A conventional design.” – Martin Prince “Oh, yeah? Are you building a racer, Martin?” – Bart Simpson “In between some other projects. Well, gentlemen, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve booked some time at the wind tunnel.” – Martin Prince
Quote of the Day
“Uh, Mr. Smithers, I don’t understand 2700 of my new duties.” – Homer Simpson “Well, the van’s leaving. Which one duty is giving you the most trouble?” – Mr. Smithers “Um, what do I do in case of fire?” – Homer Simpson “Sorry. Can’t hear you. Bye!” – Mr. Smithers “Aww, just my luck.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hello?” – Marge Simpson “Uh, yeah, Mrs. Simpson, I have some bad news. Your husband was found DOA.” – Chief Wiggum “Oh my God! He’s dead?” – Marge Simpson “Oh, wait, I mean DWI! I always get those two mixed up.” – Chief Wiggum “My name is Mrs. Phillips, you said my husband is DWI.” – Mrs. Phillips “Uh . . . why don’t you talk to that officer over there. I’m going out to lunch!” – Chief Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“You promised! You can’t back out like when you volunteered for that Army experiment to avoid dinner at my sisters.” – Marge Simpson “Mr. Simpson, you do realize this may result in hair loss, giddiness, and the loss of equilibrium?” – Army Scientist “Yeah, yeah, yeah, just gimme the serum. . . . It was worth it.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“With this hook, and this hunk of chocolate, I’ll land your boy. And I’ll clean him for free.” – Not Quint
Quote of the Day
“It’s Channel 6, Action News!” – TV Announcer “Ah, Action News, the last place an impressionable kid can go for TV violence.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Sir, if you just quiet down, I’ll be happy to treat you to a garbage bag full of popcorn.” – Theater Manager “This may surprise you, but you can’t buy me off with food!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I’m telling you, it’s not going to work. . . . See?” – Sideshow Mel
Quote of the Day
“This elevator only goes to the basement. And someone made an awful mess down there.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Ugh, so hot…” – Homer Simpson “Homer, have you seen the frozen peas? . . . Um, you keep ’em.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Mr. Simpson, you’ve been the boy’s father for ten years. Do you really think he could be the leader of a murderous criminal syndicate?” – Lionel Hutz “Well, not the leader, I mean . . . Oh, it’s true! It’s true! All the pieces fit!” – Homer Simpson
Ad Hoc Beer Marathon
“Hey, Homer, you busy?” – Lenny “Yes.” – Homer Simpson I used to do these with more preparation, but it’s Saturday, I’m sick and tired of being responsible, and my fridge has a lot of beer in it. May the Lord bless and keep the VLC random play function… The Last Temptation of Homer – Bart’s parking line prank is one of his best. Especially since the punchline is the psychological frailty of the faculty. – Look how bored Burns is when Charlie describes the fake emergency exit. He’s not even mad yet, and he’s always kinda mad. – That…
Quote of the Day
“If we don’t encourage her to vent her feelings they can come out in other ways.” – Lisa Simpson “I just realized we never had a wedding for the cat and the dog. They’ve been living in sin.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Mr. Burns, we’ve got witnesses, precedent, and a paper trail a mile long!” – Lionel Hutz “Yes, well, I have ten high priced lawyers.” – C.M. Burns “Ah! Yah! Ahhhhhh!” – Lionel Hutz
Quote of the Day
“We need more Bort license plates in the gift shop! I repeat: we are sold out of Bort license plates!”
Quote of the Day
“I almost forgot! I brought you all a little something.” – C.M. Burns “Aw, would you look at that? The Pin Pals.” – Moe “At last! I finally have a garment fine enough to be married in.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Quote of the Day
“Well, look at the bright side, Moe: you still got us.” – Barney Gumble “Yeah. You know, that actually makes me a little better.” – Moe “Why? That was the problem in the first place. You were going broke because we were your only customers. Wasn’t that the problem in the first place? That you were going broke? Moe? Moe? Hey, Moe! Oh, you’re thinking about all the money you blew, aren’t you? What was it, fifty? Sixty thousand dollars? . . . Moe? Look, maybe it would help if we went over all the mistakes you made from the…
Quote of the Day
“Try to talk her out of there. But don’t put your lips on it or anything.” – Chief Wiggum