“Lucky for you, this stuff doesn’t work.” – Springfield Nutrition Center Guy
Month: August 2014
Quote of the Day
“Oh, Dean, this is what your new hip is going to look like . . . you’re going to have to go easy on it.” – Dr. Hibbert
Reading Digest: The Hell With It Edition
“There. Finished.” – Homer Simpson “You are?” – Lisa Simpson “Well, it’s a quick job, but it’s shelter.” – Homer Simpson “It is?” – Marge Simpson Just like last week, this is by necessity incomplete. I just can’t keep up, but there is a ton of good stuff below. My inbox is also a mess, and I know I owe like half a dozen people e-mails, so hopefully I get to that and then fill in many of the links I didn’t have time to get to. In the meantime: enjoy. Not Allowed In The Deep End: Ralph Wiggum’s Finest…
Speak No Zombie Simpsons, Hear No Zombie Simpsons
“I had a feeling it was too good to be true. Every time you get a million dollars something queers the deal.” – Homer Simpson Since the marathon started last week, there’s been far more Simpsons commentary on the internet than I could possibly hope to keep up with: podcasts, blog posts, articles, the never ending firehose of Twitter, you name it. For the most part this has been very enjoyable. Usually, the only time people start talking about the show is when they do another publicity stunt. Some are linked to their most recent guest appearance or meaningless 50th/100th episode…
Quote of the Day
“Hey, nobody’s prettier than my little girl.” – Homer Simpson “You’re looking at her through a father’s eyes.” – Marge Simpson “Well, if I could gouge out somebody else’s eyes and shove ’em into my sockets, I would. But to me, she’s beautiful.” – Homer Simpson “That is so sweet.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“You’ve been eating that thing for a week. I think the mayonnaise is starting to turn.” – Marge Simpson “Two more feet and I can fit it in the fridge!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Doctor, you weren’t supposed to remove his gall bladder!” – Surgical Nurse #1 “Put it back! Put it back!” – Surgical Nurse #2
Quote of the Day
“Bart, you have to tell the police.” – Lisa Simpson “I can’t.” – Bart Simpson “Why?” – Lisa Simpson “Bart Simpson, I know you cut school yesterday. And as soon as I can prove it, I’m shipping you off to the Christian Military Reform School.” – Principal Skinner “What he said.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Marge, name one successful person who ever lived without air conditioning?” – Homer Simpson “Balzac.” – Marge Simpson “No need for potty mouth just because you can’t think of one.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I give up. Did anybody learn anything about love tonight?” – Marge Simpson “We learned it screws everybody up.” – Bart Simpson “There’s that side of it.” – Marge Simpson
Saturday Marathon Open Thread
Per IGN, here’s the schedule for the next 24 hours: 8/23 11:00 AM ET – “Burns’ Heir” 8/23 11:30 AM ET – “Sweet Seymour Skinner’s Baadasssss Song” 8/23 12:00 PM ET – “The Boy Who Knew Too Much” 8/23 12:30 PM ET – “Lady Bouvier’s Lover” 8/23 1:00 PM ET – “Secrets of a Successful Marriage” Season 6 8/23 1:30 PM ET – “Bart of Darkness” 8/23 2:00 PM ET – “Lisa’s Rival” 8/23 2:30 PM ET – “Another Simpsons Clip Show” 8/23 3:00 PM ET – “Itchy & Scratchy Land” 8/23 3:30 PM ET – “Sideshow Bob Roberts” 8/23…
Quote of the Day
“The windup and the two-two pitch, oh, no, sir, wait a minute! The batter is calling for time. Looks like he’s going and getting himself a new bat. And now there’s a beach ball on the field. And the ballboys are discussing which one of them’s gonna go get it.” – Baseball Announcer “I never realized how boring this game is.” – Homer Simpson
Reading Digest: FXX Is *Really* Bad At TV Edition
“But those shows all look so crummy.” – Homer Simpson “We could dress it up a bit. We could bring a fern, and a folding chair from the garage, and the most decorative thing of all: the truth.” – Marge Simpson FXX got a lot of good press out of this Simpsons marathon thing. Then they went and stretched the image in a way so dumb that I initially didn’t even consider it a possibility: Oof. As plenty of people on Twitter have pointed out, that looks atrocious. Maybe you don’t want to just have black bars on either side,…
Quote of the Day
“Poor Krusty.” – Bart Simpson “A man who envies our family is a man who needs help.” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Poopsie the Clown is a treasure that will last a lifetime!” – Shopping Channel Announcer “Cable . . . it’s more wonderful than I dared hope.” – Homer Simpson Those of you who have cable: enjoy the FXX marathon (Zombie Simpsons won’t start until Monday-Tuesday).
Quote of the Day
“We have to go to that show.” – Bart Simpson” “Forget it! To get those tickets our parents would have to be part of Springfield’s cultural elite.” – Lisa Simpson “Can you believe Flanders threw out a perfectly good toothbrush? . . . Eww.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“You know, Homer, the traditional way to cheat in golf is to lower your score.” – Tom Kite “That’s one way.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Fifty bucks for a toy? No kid is worth that!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Now, you know I can’t sell you no beer til two pm on account of it’s Sunday.” – Moe “Huh? If you can’t sell beer, what are Lenny and Carl doing here?” – Homer Simpson “Oh, we’re just watching the sun move across the sky.” – Carl “When it gets to here, we can drink again!” – Lenny
Quote of the Day
“Let’s see, mesmerists, dowsers, Luddites, alienists, Zoroastrians, alphabetizers . . . ah ha, assassins!” – C.M. Burns